Ronnie Diamond Private Eye
by Bubbahotek
Summary: Ron is injured on a mission and now believes he is a world famous detective and Kim is his secratery. Takes Place Before STD. I do Not own Kim Possible or any characters from the show.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my very first story idea that I wanted to write. Somehow I got caught up in a gigantic four part mega arc and put this little story on the back burner. I think now's a good time to bring it out to the light of day.**

**I do not own Kim Possible or any other characters. They are owned and mishandled by the Disney Co. of which I acutally do own stock so I guess that means I do actually own about .0000000000000010 percent of KP which is sort of insignifigant.**

**One day my dream is to have a email bot that works so I can respond to the many wonderous reviews I hope to receive.**

**Oh yea, This story takes place a year or so before STD. So Kim and Ron are still best friends for life.**

**Read and review receive a reply...eventually**

**Bubba**

* * *

Ron quickly prepared his snacks and made sure all distractions were well out of sight. Tonight he was going to indulge his guilty pleasure. A pleasure that no one else knew about except for Rufus, he never even told his best friend in all the world Kim Possible for fear she would roll her eyes and snicker at him.

It was Thursday night mystery movie time on the Classic Movie Channel. Twelve hours of nonstop 1930's detective movies featuring his favorite detective Duke DeRosa. He giggled as he looked over the evenings movie list on the cable box, _"Dial 'M' for Mayhem, Why is the Milkman Dead, Tunisia, The Ivory Pigeon...Booyah!"_

Ron hit the escape button and the channel guide winked off the screen. There was a dish detergent commercial that he had to sit through before the movie was to start. He rolled his eyes_, "Your soaking in it? 'Gasp' Oh this can't be dishwashing detergent?"_ He thought impatiently to himself, _"Idiot woman lets a complete stranger dunk her hand into some kind of green chemical...I so don't think so."_

The commercial ended as the host for the evening's movie marathon appeared to introduce the movie, _"Good evening tonight's mystery movies are the classic RKO detective movies based on the wonderful characters from F. Thom Brenner's detective novels. The main character Duke DeRosa a rough around the edges, hard drinking, no nonsense private eye. Who solves crimes in 1930's New York City. He of course is played to perfection by the great Dick Cammeron."_

"Come on I know all that all ready." Ron snapped at the TV impatiently.

Rufus shook his head and looked at his human, "Yea!" He said mimicking Ron's impatience as he helped himself to another cheddar chip.

"_We start our 12 hour salute to Duke off tonight with the movie that started it all, "The 1933 classic The Midget Murders."_

Ron giggled and clapped, "Rufus this movie is so cool...Duke has to track down this whacko that's offing circus midgets."

Rufus shrugged obviously unimpressed, "OK" and went back to his snacks.

The credits began to roll and Ron and Rufus cheered as the names appeared on the screen. The opening image of the old black and white movie was of a circus. The crowd was cheering a man on the flying trapeze.

The film then cut to a group of circus clowns waiting to go out after the trapeze artist was done. A tall clown with a large red nose looked down at a smaller clown dressed as a baby, _"Hey Gene you got a cigarette?"_

The little person patted his pockets, _"Holy cats Chuck I left em' in the trailer...I'll be right back."_

The little guy ran out the back of the tent unaware that he was being stalked. He ran into the trailer and found his cigarettes on the table and turned to see a man standing in the doorway with a gun, _"No...no...I didn't do nothin'"_

There was a close up of a .38 caliber Smith and Wesson revolver and a hand that pulled the trigger twice. The next image was of a little body laying on the ground partially obscured by the dressing room table.

"Cool stuff eh' buddy" Ron said happily to Rufus was paying absolutely no attention to him at all.

The cell phone began to ring on a shelf that over looked his bed. Ron looked at it strangely thinking for a moment that it was the trophy he won for the talent show that was ringing before he remembered that was where he had stashed his phone. He stood and grabbed the phone and looked at the number, _"Kim, I wonder what she wants?"_

"Hey KP" He said absently as he was trying to watch the movie and talk to his friend at the same time.

"_Hey Ron, I know your loaded up with homework but Wade just called and Drakken and Killigan are trying to steal something from a train down at the rail yard."_

"_Mister DeRosa, my name is Hap Harwood. I own the Jolly Time Circus..."_

"_So do you have Midgets falling over dead from gun shot wounds often?"_

"_RON are you listening to me?"_

Ron was startled back to reality, "Yea, yea Kim, Drakken and Killigan are at the circus yard...D'oh...I mean rail yard."

"_Close enough I'll see you down here in five minutes we have a ride coming for us."_

"You can count on me Kim." Ron said as he hung up the phone. He turned and looked at Rufus, "Aw man...Duty calls little guy."

He quickly changed and tried to watch the movie at the same time. Duke was trying to find suspects and was now talking to the clown's widow who was openly flirting with him.

"_So Mr. DeRosa is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"_

Ron pulled his red hockey jersey over his head and gave the TV a strange look, "I wonder what she meant by that?"

Rufus shook his head, "Oh boy"

"_You know normally I like my women a little on the short side but..."_

"_You don't have to say it Mr. DeRosa...You think because I'm small that I can't please you like a real woman."_

"Come on Rufus time to go." Ron said as he picked up his pet naked mole rat and headed to the door.

Ron ran down the stairs towards the front door, "Going on a mission with Kim be back later Mom."

His mother followed him out the door, "Don't be out too late it's a school night."

He held up his hand to let her know that he had heard her. Ron made it to the driveway of Kim's house just as their ride arrived to pick them up. Kim opened the door to the minivan and climbed in the front seat. Ron opened the side sliding door and took a seat in back.

"Cutting it a little close aren't you Ron?" Kim asked with just a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

"Sorry KP...I was distracted." He told her sheepishly.

She smirked, "I bet...Had the TV on a little loud didn't you."

Ron chose not to answer and Kim instead turned her attention to lady who was giving them the ride, "Thanks for lift Mrs. Spears."

"Oh it's no problem at all Kim after you helped my Brittney recover her career."

Kim smiled and shrugged, "So not the drama just a little drug and alcohol dependency, it was really no big."

"Hey, I was there too you know..." Ron chimed in.

Mrs. Spears narrowed her eyes at Ron, "Yes, I know.Telling Brittney in her fragile state of mind that bald girls were hot is hardly helping Ronald."

"Oh, sorry...My bad." Ron said sheepishly suddenly wishing he had said nothing at all.

The rest of the ride to the Middleton Railroad Station passed in silence. Ron stared out the car window and wondered just what part of the movie he was missing and if they could possibly make it back to catch the ending.

"Here you go kids." Mrs. Spears said pleasantly.

"Thanks again Mrs. Spears." Kim said as she got out of the car.

"Oh it's my pleasure Kim." Then she turned towards the backseat, "Make sure to close the door firmly Ronald."

He swallowed hard, "Oh...OK..." He said as he slammed the sliding door closed.

They both watched the pale blue Ford Windstar minivan drive down the street. Ron rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand, "Is it just me or did she seem a little out of sorts tonight."

Kim smirked, "Gee, you noticed."

"What?"

"Bald girls are hot...What were you thinking?" Kim said slightly bemused.

Ron shrugged, "I...I dunno..."

"I, I mean how many bald girls do you know?" Kim queried.

Ron screwed up his face as he tried to marshal his thoughts together, running all the names of different girls through his mind, "Brittney?"

Kim chuckled and shook her head, "Come on, let's go see if we can find Drakken and Duff."

"No mention of Shego...Must be a boy's night out." Ron mused.

"Awwwww They didn't mention little ol' me?" A voice said from behind them.

Kim quickly ran to her right and Ron peeled off to the left and turned to face the voice. It was Shego and she had just launched a plasma energy blast towards Kim. "Isn't it past your bedtime's, school night you know." Shego taunted.

"We'll be back home just as soon as I take out the trash." Kim retorted as she threw a punch towards Shego who blocked it and countered with a spin kick.

"Well if it's not...ummm...I'll think of the name in a sec..." Drakken said as he wracked his brain searching for Ron's name.

Ron turned just in time to see Draken and Duff Killigan standing behind him. Duff was holding a box, "Ah the wee laddie's come to play has he?"

He saw Duff wasn't holding the box very tightly so he punched the bottom of the box sending it airborne. Ron jumped into the air and grabbed it and took off running towards the train yard.

"Come back here with that we just stole it." Drakken called after him.

Duff pulled a driver out of his bag and aimed one of his special exploding golf balls at the boy who was running off into the distance. "Keep yer knickers on I'll bring him down shortly." He said as he hit the ball squarely towards Ron.

"RON LOOK OUT!" Kim yelled before Shego grabbed her by the arm and flipped her over her shoulder.

Shego looked up and saw Ron scamper around a corner before the golf ball could reach him and explode. She growled as she took off after Ron, "If you want anything done right..."

Kim picked herself up off the ground and brushed the dirt off her khaki mission pants. Saw that Shego was now chasing Ron, "Oh no you don't." She growled as she took off after her.

The exploding golf ball had narrowly missed him. Ron quickly ran down another alleyway. He could hear gravel crunching under his running feet and could smell the odor of machine oil from the work shed that housed the trains.

He paused to catch his breath and look around. He tapped his pocket twice and Rufus appeared, "Watch my back buddy. I got to hide this box and go back and try to help Kim."

Rufus promptly saluted and ran down his leg and back the way that he had originally came. Ron's eyes now darted around looking for a place to hide the box. Then he spotted it a large yellow boxcar that was tagged with graffiti. It was a very artistic word, very colorful. It read, "SPAZZZZZZ"

He nodded his head and made a mad dash for the boxcar he reached it he realized it was in for repairs and parked over a concrete pit that was used to work on the undercarriage of the railroad equipment. There he saw what appeared to be a manhole cover. He slid under the boxcar, dropped the box down the hole and pulled the cover back over the top.

"_OK, it's hidden...Now to find Kim."_ He thought as he wiggled his way back out from under the boxcar.

He brushed his clothes off and saw Rufus running back towards him. Ron caught sight of a box from the corner of his eye. He quickly grabbed it as a green plasma energy blast erupted from up the tracks, _"Shego...Gotta try and stay out of her way."_

Shego finally caught sight of Ron, _"There's nerdlinger with the box."_ She thought before she was suddenly sent forward by a vicious kick to the small of her back.

"We're not done yet Shego." Kim said as Shego quickly gained her feet and came running at her.

"Time for Princess to go nighty night." She growled as she threw a punch towards Kim's head.

Kim grabbed the arm and flipped Shego over her shoulder. Shego landed on her feet and spotted Ron running towards them, "Sorry princess but the buffoon has something we need." She said as she sprang towards a stack of crates and onto the roof of a train shed.

Both her hands were now glowing green gathering energy before she launched both plasma balls towards Ron, "I want that box nerdlinger."

He saw the energy balls coming his way but he couldn't stop his forward momentum. The energy balls landed just in front of him exploding, lifting him into the air and sending him back 15 feet where he collided hard with the brick wall with a sickening thud.

Ron lost consciousness.

**

* * *

**

"_Is he going to be alright mom?"_

"_I think so Kimmie...He's received a nasty blow to the head. He may have a concussion."_

Ron could hear Kim and her mother talking but they seemed so far away. He became aware of something poking his cheek. His eyes fluttered open and he saw a very worried looking Rufus looking at him.

Then the pain hit him. He felt as though a trashcan had been placed over his head and hit repeatedly with a baseball bat. He groaned loudly.

"Ron are you OK?"

He heard the voice it was Kim. She was OK. He felt relief that they both weren't hurt. He took a breath and licked his lips, "I...I feel...My head hurts." He said quietly.

Kim's mother reached over and opened up an eye and shone a light into it, "Ron, your at the hospital. Do you remember what happened to you?"

Ron tried to keep his eyes open but his head hurt so badly, "N...no"

"Do you know what day it is?"

He tried to think, it was a day that had a 'T' in it, "Tuesday"

Kim wiped a tear from her eye and looked at her mother and whispered, "It's Thursday."

Her mother gave her a stern look, "No it's Friday now."

She pulled her head in sheepishly, "Sorry mom."

"I...I blew it again didn't I?" Ron asked wearily.

Kim patted his hand, "Don't worry Ron, we'll get em' tomorrow."

"Can you sit up Ron?" Mrs. Dr. P. asked.

He tried to move but his whole left side hurt. He felt two pairs of hands on him helping him sit up. He heard Mrs. Dr. P. sigh, "I think he should stay for observation."

Now Ron's head was beginning to clear and he was becoming scared. He didn't like being in hospital. Hospitals were for sick people, "No...no...I just want to go home." He said the fear now clearly evident in his voice.

"Mom?"

Mrs. Dr. P. continued to look him over, "Well we are close incase something happens."

Kim breathed a sigh of relief, "Ron you're going home...You're going to be OK."

"B...booyah" He said as he tried to muster the energy to sound excited.

Mrs. Dr. P. brought in a wheelchair and then they helped Ron to the floor. Ron's world began to spin and the colors that flashed before his eyes were making him nauseous. They quickly sat him down in the wheelchair.

Mrs. Dr. P. had him lean over and put his head between his legs, "Are you still feeling dizzy?"

Kim had both hands over her mouth frightened by how ghostly white Ron's skin had turned before they were able to get him into the wheelchair. There was no answer and this scared Kim even more, "RON?"

He was taking quick shallow breaths, "I...I'll be okay...Where's Rufus?"

Rufus quickly scampered on the floor to where Ron could see him, "Here I am."

Ron could feel the tears welling in his eyes. He choked them back, "Good...I thought you might have been hurt too...I want to go home."

Mrs. Dr. P. helped Ron sit back up, "I'm going to wheel you up front now."

They helped Ron into the Possible's car and drove him back to his house. Kim rode in the backseat with her friend. Mrs. Dr. P. glanced at them from time to time to see how he was handling the ride home.

Once they reached the Stoppable residence Kim looked up at all the darkened rooms, "Mom at work?"

Ron nodded, "Yea...Dad's probably asleep."

Mrs. Dr. P. got out of the car with her daughter and helped Ron out of the backseat, "Can you walk Ron?"

"A...a little."

Kim put her arm around him and helped him inside the house. Then she took him nice and slow up the stairs till they reached his room. Kim sat him on the bed and looked at the old black and white movie playing on the television and all the different snacks that were laid out, "So this was your big night of homework?"

Ron frowned, "I...I didn't want you to know...I was afraid you'd laugh at me."

She nodded and looked at the screen, "Sam Spade?"

"No...no...Duke...something..." Ron said as he strained to remember.

Kim nodded and pulled is shirt up over his head. Then she took his shoes off and then pulled off his pants. The fly on his boxers fell open. She looked away quickly, self consciously, embarrassed. She giggled to herself as she blushed, _"Now I see why he always wears boxers."_

She laid Ron down on is pillow and covered him with a blanket. His expressionless eyes staring vacantly at the television, "Want me to turn it off?" She asked.

"No...no" He said weakly.

Kim sat down next to him for a moment and ruffled his hair, "I'll check in on you in the morning...OK?"

"OK" A very tired voice replied.

She glanced over at the little table at the foot of his bed and saw Rufus settling in with the cheddar chips. She pointed at him, "You better keep a close eye on him."

Rufus nodded as Kim quietly let herself out of his room.

Ron lay there on the bed still dazed. His eyes staring at the detective images on the television, _"I wish I could be like Duke...Man, he's so cool..."_

"_So you finally figured it out did ya."_

"_Lenny I had you pegged as a no good two bit punk the minute I laid eyes on ya."_

"_Well too bad because it's curtains for you DeRosa..."_

'_Bang...Bang' "I had the drop on ya all the time Lenny...Now I've got the Ivory Pigeon."_

"_If I was cool and smart like that I could really help Kim out...I wouldn't be so much of a screw up." _He thought sadly as he continued to watch the movie.

"_Gee Duke that was some swell shooting."_

"_Yea...I only wish I had gotten to him before he killed my partner Norm Chomsky."_

"_Well if it's any comfort to you. I think old Norm's bellying up to that big bartender in the sky and ordering a double shot of scotch right about now."_

"_You really think so Father?"_

A grin crossed Ron's face as the credits rolled across the screen and the next movie began, _"If I could really help Kim...It would be a real team and maybe even...That one guy on the little blue thingie she talks into...What's his name...darn headache...Wayne would make cool things for me too."_

"_So Detective Moultree what do I owe the pleasure of this little visit?"_

"_I'm afraid you're going to have to come down to the station with me Duke."_

"_Why what for? Can't you see I'm only halfway through this bottle of scotch?"_

"_Larry LaManche was found shot to death down on the bowery." _

"_So what's that got to do with me?"_

"_Eva McClure heard you threatening him earlier today."_

"_So what, I threaten lots of people."_

"_They found your gun by the body Duke."_

"_Your out of your tree Mark, my gun's right...Hey wait this is some kind of put up job...I'm being framed I tell ya."_

"_Don't make this difficult Duke."_

"_Stoppable's a stupid name anyway...I could be Ronnie Diamond...yea...Ronnie Diamond...Private Eye" _Ron mumbled to himself as he drifted off to sleep as the black and white images of the old detective movies flickering across his eyelids and implanting themselves upon his damaged psyche.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Gee I wish those swell fella's at would hurry up and fix that stupid mail bot. Otherwise I might have to do somethin' unpleasant like send Ronnie Diamond down to muss them up a little. **

**You wise acres read and review anyways and I'll reply later...SEE!**

**Bubba **

* * *

Ron awoke the next morning with a splitting headache. He slowly sat up and stared at the television set. Shook his head slowly and then buried his head in his hands, _"…Someone must of slipped me a Mickey…I don't remember…Wait the green lady."_

He stood shakily and staggered over to the television and began pushing buttons until it was shut off, _"Strange picture box is enough to give any man a headache."_

"_How'd I get back here? Who took my clothes off…Kim…Gee she's a swell kid…Always lookin' out for me when I'm one of my benders…Time to take the edge off this headache."_ Ron thought as he began going through his underwear drawer looking for his bottle of scotch.

Ron continued looking around the room for objects that in his mind should have been there, _"Oh no…I either drank it all or Kim found it…Looks like I'm out of smokes too."_

Kim Possible awoke for school at the usual time. She quickly hurried through her morning routine so she could check in on her best friend. Kim bounded down the stairs and grabbed a piece of toast on her way out the door, "Going to check on Ron, bye mom."

She then stopped turned around and ran back inside, "Forgot my book bag."

Mrs. Dr. P. called after her, "At least stop long enough to chew that toast."

There was no time for stopping her and Ron had been on many missions before and neither of them had ever really been hurt. That is until last night. Kim could still hear the sickening thud of Ron slamming against the brick wall, and it made her shudder.

"No time mom, I need to go check in on Ron before school."

"Under no circumstances do you let him go. He needs to rest." Mrs. Dr. P. said as she followed Kim to the door.

"Making sure Ron stays home from school shouldn't be a problem." Kim called out behind her as she started up the street.

Mr. Stoppable was just pulling up to the stop sign at the intersection when he spotted Kim and waived her over, "Hello Kimberly…Ron's acting kind of strange this morning. Did anything happen last night that we should know about?"

Kim's mind began to race, _"If I tell him the truth he might not let Ron go on missions with me anymore…"_

She fidgeted, "No…ummm…nothing out of the ordinary."

Mr. Stoppable nodded his head, "I just thought it was strange that Ron was wearing a suit this morning."

Kim looked towards the house, "Umm…It must be suit day today?"

His dad looked thoughtful for a few moments and then nodded, "OK see you kids later."

She waived at Mr. Stoppable and then once his car was out of sight she ran up the hill to see Ron, _"A suit?"_

Mrs. Stoppable was asleep after her nightshift at the hospital so Kim opened the front door and crept quietly inside. She could hear movement coming from upstairs so she crept quietly up the stairs. She could tell the noise now was coming from the bathroom.

She took a quick peek around the door frame not wanting to catch Ron in a moment that demanded privacy. She pulled back quickly and then peeked again, _"He is wearing a suit…and putting something in his hair?"_

Kim reached out and cautiously knocked on the door frame. Ron turned towards her with his slicked back and perfectly groomed, "Hey kid, some night last night huh?"

"Ron are you…alright?" Kim asked nervously.

"Peachy keen" He said in a strange accent as he pushed past Kim and into the hallway.

She watched him as he opened a door for a hall closet and reached up to the top shelf and took down a large hat box. Inside the old hat box was an old brown fedora hat. Kim knew the hat had belonged to his grandpa Max before he died.

Ron put the hat on his head and turned the brim down just a bit. Then he turned to look at Kim, "Can't goes nowhere without my chapeau if you know what I mean."

"Ummm…Ron…maybe you should stay home from school today?"

He looked stunned, "School…Kim, you've known me a long time. I ain't got no use for book learnin'…Street smarts is what I got."

Kim breathed a sigh of relief, "So you're staying home then."

"Nah, back out to the rail yard…Have to look for clues about the green lady." He told her as he began to pat his pockets for something that was obviously missing.

"I…I think you need to stay home and rest Ron." Kim said suddenly becoming very frightened.

"Rufus, that's what's missing." He said happily as he went back towards his room. Then stopped abruptly when he thought of something else he forgot. Kim was following so close she bumped into him, "Give a guy a little breathing room."

"S…sorry"

Ron walked back to the closet and pulled out an old London Fog trench coat and put it on. He looked up at Kim, "Hey…I know this is kind of embarrassing and all but do you know where I left my gun?"

"GUN?" Kim repeated her eyes going wide with fear.

"Yea…I can't find my smokes or my bottle of…uh…medicine if you know what I mean." He said as he nudged her in ribs with his elbow and winked at her. Ron then walked towards his bedroom and picked up a still snoozing Rufus.

"Tell ya what you go to school and tell me all about it when you get home and I'll go snooping around by the rail yard."

"Ron?"

Ron looked at his wrist watch, "Holy smokes kid, you're gonna be late. You better run along now."

Kim thought about it, _"Well it is daylight and Drakken, Shego and Duff got what they needed last night."_

"Alright…I'll see you later…Just promise me you'll take it easy." She said worriedly.

Ron dug around in a cabinet drawer and pulled out a tooth pick and wielded it like a cigarette, "Sure thing…Oh and Kim…"

"Yea"

"You may want to start dressing a little more feminine…Kids at school are gonna start thinkin' you don't like boys."

Kim looked down at her Capri pants and her white mid rift shirt with a heart in the center. Her eyes bulged, _"Don't get mad he's had a head injury?"_ "Anything else?"

"Naw just make sure to be here after school…I might have some letters I'll need you to write for me." Ron said as he examined the morning paper.

Kim's face turned beat red from anger and walked out the door.

* * *

"So anyway that's the story Monique." Kim said sadly as the two friends sat at one of the round lunch room tables eating their meal.

"Sounds like Ron's in a bit of a dream world."

"He actually told me to dress more feminine…I should have slapped him."

"You go girl." Monique said in agreement.

Kim sighed, "Well I'll set him straight after school."

Monique suddenly tilted her head to the left, "No…no you can't…You've seen those movies about guys that lose their memories?"

Kim shook her head that she hadn't.

"If you challenge their delusion…It could harm his psyche and make him violent or something." Monique finished.

Kim blinked, "No…no…Ron…wouldn't become violent…Would he?"

Monique shrugged, "You better ask your mom first."

"Yea"

Monique suddenly saw Kim's boyfriend approaching the table, "Hi Josh!"

Josh smiled confidently, "Hey"

Kim's eyes opened wide and turned around, "Hi Josh!"

"Hey Kim, we still on for tomorrow night?"

Kim nodded her head vigorously, "Uh huh"

Josh smiled, "Cool…I'll pick you up around six then."

"OK" Kim said still grinning.

He looked around quickly to make sure no one was looking and quickly bent down and kissed Kim on the cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Kim blushed, "Oh….okay"

Monique fought the urge to squeal until after Josh was out of earshot, "Girl that was soooooo sweet."

"Yea" A still blushing Kim had to agree.

"So you guys are going out tomorrow then?"

Kim sighed sadly, "Yea"

Monique was puzzled by her reaction and decided to delve deeper, "So aren't you excited?"

"Well yea…but…Josh has been…He wants to touch things now." Kim said quietly.

"Whoa…I never thought Josh would be…"

"A guy…all guys are like that I think Monique." Kim said sadly.

Monique nodded, "So what are you going to do?"

Kim licked her lips, "I don't know…I mean…I…I kind of want to take things further…"

"But you're not sure?"

"It's just that Josh is trying to make me think I have to because we've been dating for a while." Kim said sadly.

"I never thought Josh could be capable…I mean he's so cute and artsy and…"

"…and if I don't let his hands roam he'll probably dump me."

Monique blinked, "Did he tell you that?"

Kim shrugged, "Not in so many words." Kim picked at her food, "I'll just have to decide what to do tomorrow."

* * *

"So who's the kid in the trench coat?"

Officer Hobble shrugged, "Global Justice I think."

The other officer turned to Hobble, "What makes you think he's GJ?"

Hobble shrugged, "Two words….Will Du."

"You think he's Will Du?"

"No…but he's asking all the right questions. So I think he probably works with Agent Du."

The kid in trench coat turned and started to walk towards the two officers, "Here he comes what should we do?"

"Cooperate"

Ron walked up to the two uniformed officers and took the toothpick from his mouth, "I would have been here sooner but I couldn't find a street car."

The officers turned to look at one another but said nothing.

"So you two flat foots been running down any leads?"

Office Hobble looked at the other officer, "We've done a chemical spectrograph of the area and took the remaining plasma samples that were left from the train heist to the lab for analysis. The boxcar that was broke into was carrying a top secret part for a directed energy beam weapon. We believe the criminal known as Shego was behind the crime."

Ron blinked not quite understanding what the man was talking about until the name Shego was mentioned, "Ah yes…Secret Death Ray, The Green Lady…They kind of go together…Mind if I poke around?"

Hobble pointed towards the wrecked train car, "Just stay away from the crime scene."

Ron turned away from the officers and held up a hand, _"Now where did I stash that box?"_

He rounded the corner and then made sure he was out of sight then tapped on the right hand pocket of the trench coat, "Rufus rise and shine buddy."

A very drowsy naked mole rat pulled himself out of the pocket, "Hello"

"You have any idea where we were before we got Shanghaied?"

Rufus nodded, "Uh huh, uh huh" he squeaked as he scampered down Ron's leg, "This way"

Ron followed Rufus towards one of the train sheds. He stopped and looked at the wall that he was thrown into. He swallowed hard, _"Gotta get ditch that memory…"_

The naked mole rat stopped beside one of the buildings and pointed, "This way."

He reached the point and gasped as he recognized the yellow box car with the 'SPAZZZZZZ' spray painted on the side. He walked slowly towards it, "Good job boy, who needs a dog anyway."

"YEA" Rufus agreed.

Ron approached the boxcar carefully and then looked around to make sure no one was coming. He slid under the boxcar and moved the metal grate back to reveal the concrete pit. He spotted the box that everyone had been looking for, "Come to papa."

He slid out from under the boxcar and brushed himself off. He looked over the small cardboard box, "So this is what all the fuss is about."

Rufus nodded, "Yep"

Ronnie Diamond patted his right hand pocket and slipped the box into his other pocket, "Let's go pal, I think I gotta plan to flush these guys out."

* * *

"Whatta ya mean it ain't the right box? I took it out of nerdlingers unconscious hands myself." Shego exploded at her employer.

Dr. Drakken took a step back, "Now, now Shego…No one is blaming you."

"Don't be daft man. I'm blaming her, she lost my package." Duff Killigan said disgustedly.

"What do I look like Federal Express!" Shego retorted.

"I'd want my money back that's for certain." Killigan responed.

Shego came at the squat little golfer with her hands glowing green with a plasma energy build up, "Care to say that to my face."

Duff quickly pulled out a three iron from his golf bag, "I just did missy."

Drakken stepped in between the two "Hey, hey the last thing I need is you two destroying my new lair before Kim Possible does." He cringed as he caught his own subliminal slip of the tongue, "If she had a chance before I take over the world."

"We take over the world." Duff reminded him.

"Oh yea…ummm…errr….we take over the world." Drakken said with a nervous chuckle.

Shego rolled her eyes at Drakken's nervous chuckling, "Alright so how are we going to find the right part?"

"Well someone, who I believe is named Shego is just going to have to go back to the rail yard and find it." Drakken told her.

"Nuh huh, no can do. The place is crawling with police." Shego reminded him.

"Well you'll just have to go back tonight." Drakken offered.

"How do we know the cops haven't found it yet?" Shego countered.

"The one who told me about the train shipment would have told me if it was found or not." Killigan explained.

Drakken rubbed his chin and scowled, "One thing's for sure without the contents of that little box this plan is as good as finished before it began. Shego you are going to have to find that box."

* * *

Cheer practice was finally over so Kim hurried back to Ron's house. She was trying to reach him on his cell phone all day but he never did answer and this did nothing to soothe her nerves. She reached the front door and rang the doorbell.

"_Around back"_ The voice called to her through the door.

Kim rushed around to the door by the kitchen. She reached out and knocked on the door, "Ron…You OK?"

"_Come on in"_

She opened the door and saw Ron sitting in a kitchen chair with his trench coat and suit coat hanging over another chair. His hat was sitting in the floor and he was busy flipping cards into it. He looked up at her and smiled before reaching up and taking the toothpick out of his mouth, "Hey Doll" Ron let out a wolf's whistle and smiled appreciatively, "Much better…Very complimentary." He said with a leer.

Kim looked at him strangely, "What are you talking about?"

Ron stood up and walked around his friend, "You really need to wear skirts more."

"_Is he checking me out? This is too weird."_ She put her left hand on her hip, "Ron, you've seen me in my cheerleading uniform before."

"Have I? Well anyway, how was school? You all educated now?"

Kim frowned, "Yes…Now why didn't you answer your phone when I called?"

He looked at her quite bewildered, "What are ya talkin' about? I been here most of the afternoon and that phone on the wall ain't jingled once."

"Your cell phone Ron."

Ron blinked, "Cell phone? What kind of phone is that?"

"Never mind, school was OK. I got the homework assignments for you." She handed him a piece of paper with a list on it.

He took the paper looked at it and put it on the table, "I went back out to the rail yard looking for clues."

Kim sighed, "Find any?"

Ron grinned, "Police were there. They suspect Shego of hitting the Government train last night."

"We already knew that."

"True, true, but they didn't find the box that Shego was after." Ron said with a grin.

Kim shook her head, "Shego got away with the box don't you remember."

"Oh did she now? Shows how much you know…I got the box." Ron said still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"You turned it in to the police I trust?" Kim said nervously.

"Nah, they'd only have it stolen from them…It's someplace safe." He told her confidently.

"Ron you have to turn in that box. It's too dangerous for you to keep it."

Ron winked at her, "That's my middle name, Ronnie Dangerous Diamond."

Kim took a step back, "Your…your name is Ron Stoppable."

"Ron Stoppable what kind of stupid name is that? It's the kind of name a smuck who always finishes last. I'm Ronnie Diamond Private Eye see!" He told her sounding mildly annoyed.

"Well…" _"Remember Monique said to not challenge his delusions he could become violent."_ Kim took a step back towards the door, "What are you planning to do now?"

Ron leaned over and picked up his hat off the floor and put the deck of cards back together, "Get your walking shoes on toots…I'm taking you to a place where my buddy Ned slings the best hash in town."

She frowned, _"I might have known Bueno Nacho."_ "You think that's a good idea?"

"Great idea, I don't think so well on an empty stomach." He told her as he put his coat on.

Kim sighed, "Alright…Is your friend Rufus coming or did you forget him too?"

"What are ya some kind of comedian. Of course Rufus is coming."

Rufus popped out of a pocked in Ron's trench coat, "Yea"

The two made their way to Bueno Nacho. Ron continued to entertain Kim about his day of investigating as well as complain about the lack of street cars in Middleton. Kim kept up uneasily as she was noticing all the stares that Ron was garnering because of his wardrobe decisions.

They walked in the fast food restaurant and Ron strode confidently to the counter, "Hi ya Ned!"

"Hi Ron" Said the unimpressed bespectacled teen who was manning the cash register.

"I was telling the lady that you sling the best hash around but I don't think she believes me."

"Uh huh" Ned said still unimpressed.

"OK, then…Uh…I'll have the usual with a cup of java and the lady will have whatever she fancy's."

Kim rolled her eyes, "I'll take a number 4."

Ned rang them up, "That'll be $7.60."

Ron opened his wallet and then leaned over to Kim, "I don't suppose you could spot me a few bucks…Work at the detective agency have been kind of slow since Norm got himself killed."

"_I wish he'd snap out of this."_ Kim shook her head and pulled out a small change purse from her handbag, "Here"

"Thanks kid you're the best."

They got their food and sat down. Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket and made a mad dash for Ron's cheesy nachos. Kim smirked as she watched Ronnie Diamond begin to eat his nacho, "So what's your big plan?"

Ron grinned, "No need to worry your pretty head about it. Ronnie Diamond has everything under control."

Kim flinched at the sexist comment and remained unimpressed, "Look…Ronnie…You really should turn that box over to the police."

The room began to spin wildly and Ron put his head in his hands, "RON, RON…are you OK?" Kim said suddenly worried.

"Uhhhhhhhhh…I think I'm still a little out of sorts after last night…" Ron told her.

"You look really pale."

Ron was beginning to perspire, "I...I think I'm just tired from all the walking…Couldn't find a street car anywhere…Hailing a cab in this town is near impossible."

"What year is it Ron?" Kim asked suddenly becoming very frightened.

The color in Ron's cheeks started to returned to normal, "What a screwy question doll. Everyone knows it's 1935."

Kim sighed, "Ron…I think it's time you went back home."

Ron nodded, "Yea good idea. A little shut eye would do me good. Then back out tomorrow night to do some more leg work…You comin'?"

"Can't I got a date tomorrow night."

He straightened up in his seat clearly interested in Kim's love life, "Hey, who's the lucky stiff?"

Kim giggled, "You know who it is…Josh Mankey."

Ron chuckled, "You know he's only one letter away from being Josh Monkey."

She narrowed her eyes, "Now that's something Ron Stoppable would say."

"Merely pointing out the obvious."

Kim shook her head, "Finish up your food we need to get you back home.

"Yea…my heads kind of ringing again." Ron said as he put his hand back up to his forehead.

She put her hand on Ron's arm and pulled her cell phone out from her bag, "I'm going to call mom to get us a ride."

"Huh, you ain't gonna get no reception with that radio phone unless you plug it in." Ron offered.

"It's a cell phone Ron…Even takes pictures." After she talked to her mom she snapped a quick picture of Ron and showed it to him.

"Gee that's swell Where'd you get it?"

"You have one in your room."

"I do?"

Ten minutes later Kim was helping Ron into the back of her mom's car. Ron slumped over in the seat. Mrs. Dr. P. looked on, "He needs to stay home and rest."

Kim nodded, "I know but…I…I need to talk to you later."

Once again Mrs. Dr. P. took them back to Ron's house and once again Kim helped Ron up the stairs to his room, "I wish you didn't wear all these clothes." She said sadly as she tried to figure out how to get him undressed.

"Sorry doll…I didn't mean to go on one of my benders."

Kim sighed, "It's OK Ron."

"I'm usually better at holding my scotch…but since Norm died…" He said as he fell over onto his pillow.

"I'll call you tomorrow morning." She said as she was leaving his room.

Ron mumbled something incoherent and was asleep. Kim shook her head, "You call me doll one more time…" She shook her fist mockingly and then turned and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

The phone ringing on the nightstand woke her up from a forgettable dream, so forgettable she couldn't even remember it. She reached out her and made two attempts to grab the phone before she found it. Her eyes had not yet adjusted to the morning light spilling in through her window, "Hello?" She said groggily.

"_Rise and shine doll face we got things to do."_

"Wha...what?"

"_I need to go to the five and dime and get a few things."_

"Wha...what?"

"_You goin' or do I have to come down there and drag you out of bed?"_

"Yeah...hang on...yeah, I'm going but I have to be back by four to get ready for my date." Kim reminded him.

"_Date?"_

She sighed, "You know with Josh."

"_Oh yeah, yeah...The monkey boy...gotcha."_

"Be here in an hour I'll have my mom drive us." Kim said suddenly wishing she had switched the ringer on the phone to the off position.

"_Gee a ride from your mom...That'd be swell. You're the best kid."_

Kim hung up the phone, _"I know mom said to humor him but if he calls me doll face or kid just one more time..."_

She sat on the edge of her bed and looked at herself in the mirror, _"I wish Ron was in his right mind. Then I could go on this date and not feel guilty about leaving him behind."_

Kim flopped backwards on the bed, _"Who am I kidding...I just don't know if I want to do...those things with Josh."_

An hour later the Mrs. Dr. P.'s car pulled up out front of Ron's house. The skinny blonde teenager appeared in a startling blue tuxedo underneath his trench coat and fedora. Mrs. Dr. P. got out of the car and stopped him, "I just want to do a quick checkup on you."

Ron let her go through the motions of a checkup, "I don't know what all the fuss is about...So I gotta little banged up...No harm done."

Kim's mother frowned and shook her head, "Just making sure you have all your marbles...Ronnie."

"MOM" Kim said in exasperation, _"The last thing he needs is for her to encourage him."_

"Oh come on honey. It will be fun riding to the store with the famous Detective Ronnie Diamond." Her mother said pleasantly.

"Awwwww you don't have to make a fuss on my account Mrs. Possible...Although I will say solving the midget murders was quite the feather in my cap if you know what I mean." Ron said grinning from ear to ear.

Kim rolled her eyes and her mother smiled, "Well get in and you can tell us all about it on the way to the store."

"MOM"

"No problem...Scoot over toots." Ron said as he slid in the back seat with Kim.

Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket and sneered at Kim, "Yeah, scoot over toots."

Ron pushed the naked mole rat back into his pocket, "That's enough out of you wise guy."

Kim moved over in the back seat for Ron to get in, _"Four O'clock can't get here fast enough."_

"That's a lovely tux you have on Ronnie." Mrs. Dr. P. pointed out.

"Yeah, isn't it great? It's my dad's, never been worn."

"Great" Kim said as she looked out the passenger window.

"I needed to change. My good suit was getting a little odoriferous if you know what I mean...So mom took the suit to the dry cleaners." He told Mrs. Dr. P. with a wink as she looked up in the rear view mirror.

"_Great...mom's getting him wound up and I have to put up with him."_

"So kid what are you and the monkey boy doing tonight?"

Kim looked up suddenly, "Ah...I'm not sure...Josh said it would be a surprise."

Ron nodded, "I bet he's going to take you over on 83rd and Magnolia...Benny Lester's band is playing there tonight."

"Is Benny Lester very good?" Mrs. Dr. P. inquired.

Ron leaned forward in his seat, "Benny plays a mean clarinet and there's this little blonde number...Well I won't go into it any further while you ladies are present."

"Smarty Mart or the Mall dear?" Mrs. Dr. P. asked suddenly.

Kim blinked, "Uh..." _"If we go to the mall I'll have to explain everything to him...I don't want to be caught dead at Smarty Mart."_ Kim sighed, "Better take us to Smarty Mart."

"Where smart shoppers shop smart." Ron said as he pulled a toothpick from the pocket of his coat.

Mrs. Dr. P. dropped the two teens at the front door and drove away. Ron grinned at Kim, "You know for your mom's age she's a very handsome woman."

"Ewwwww...So don't go there Ron." Kim said disgustedly.

"Don't get you panties in a bunch doll it's not like I got a school boy crush or anything...I'm just sayin'." Ron said defensively.

"Well stop sayin' or..." Kim held up a fist.

"I get it, I get it...Your lucky you're a great secretary or I'd put you on the street." Ron told her more than a little annoyed.

Kim rolled her eyes, "Oh lucky me."

"Smart shoppers shop smart." The man in the brain suit told them as he handed Ron a sales circular.

She gasped, "That's almost half the price that Club Banana is charging." She said as she pointed to a pair of boots.

"Crown Royal...17.99! Are they out of their cotton pickin' minds?"

"Ron"

"Hey kid, look knitting supplies."

"For you?"

"Naw for you...You know it wouldn't hurt you to knit me a shirt or two."

Kim shook her head and ignored the comment, "Look let's just get what you came here for."

They took a cart and walked inside. Ron was mesmerized by all the different brands and products, "Gee this place sure has Gimbals beat."

Kim tried to walk away quietly as she noticed that everyone was staring at them. Ron however noticed this too, "I told yah you should dress more feminine kid?" Ron turned and saw that he was talking to himself.

He shrugged and walked the opposite direction from where Kim was heading, _"She probably went to go find some frilly clothes or somthin'."_

She turned and didn't see him anywhere, _"Oh no...I am going to get so grounded if he ends up getting into trouble."_

Kim ran up one and down the other then she spotted a rack of .99 cent DVD's, _"Melody Classics Duke DeRosa Private Eye Vol. 1...I better get a few of these so I don't feel behind the curve all the time."_

"_Volume 1, The Midget Murders, Ivory Pigeon...Volume 2, Why is the Milk Man Dead? Tunisia...Where do they come up with these titles?"_ She thought and then an argument from a nearby cash register caught her attention.

"_Whatta yah mean I can't buy cigarettes until I'm 18?"_

Kim's shoulders slumped, "Oh nooooooo"

She turned and raced towards the voice.

"_Look I've been smokin' since I was 4 and it ain't never hurt me none see!"_

"Ronnie, time to quit kidding around with the nice lady." Kim said pleasantly as she tried to pull him away from the register.

"I'm not going to sell you the Jim Beam either." The cashier informed him.

"WHAT?" Then Ron gloomed, "Oh I know your kind...Your the kind that spells America with a 'K'."

"That did it, I'm calling the manager." The woman said as she reached for the phone.

"You don't have to sister, I been thrown out of better places than this. Come on Kim." Ron said angrily as he whirled away from the check out line and stomped towards the exit.

Kim put the movies on the counter, "I'll take these." She told her as she tried to keep Ron in sight,_ "Oh no he's going in to the Wells Fargo Bank..."_

"That'll be 3.42...You might want to have your friend start taking his medication again." The woman offered.

She handed her a five dollar bill, "Tell me about it."

The woman handed Kim her change and she ran for the bank. Ron walked out smiling, "Finally a place that understands service."

"You didn't make anyone in there mad did you?" She asked as she tried to peer into the bank behind him.

"Nahhhhhh I just got a roll of quarters that's all." He said with a knowing grin.

Kim sighed, "OK what's the big deal about the roll of quarters?"

Ron looked one way and then another to make sure no one was trying to overhear him, "They wouldn't sell me a gun, smokes or bottle of sour mash ...So one needs to improvise...A roll of quarters in a sock makes a swell homemade black jack."

She closed her eyes, "Ron you're starting to scare me."

"No time for fear now sweet cakes, we have to get back to the office. I have a rather unpleasant letter I need to dictate to you for the mayor."

Kim sighed, _"Come on four O'clock."_

A short time later Mrs. Dr. P. pulled up in front of Smarty Mart. Kim shook her head as Ron was trying pick up a senior girl from Lowerton High School. The girl was looking sort of amused at Ron's attire.

Kim broke in on the conversation, "Ron...Mom's here?"

"Who's that?" The girl asked rather annoyed.

"Awww just ignore her she's delirious...She's dating a monkey guy from the circus." Ron said as he tried to shoo Kim away.

"RON" Kim said testily.

"Yeah, yeah, So tell me Amy, you come here often?"

"Only when I'm scheduled to work." The girl said with a sly grin obviously enjoying the attention of a well dressed young detective.

"So you ever thought about living life dangerously?" Ron asked as he gave her a wink.

"RON" Kim tried to get him to leave with her again.

"How dangerous?" Amy replied.

"Dangerous enough to sell a 16 year old a carton of smokes and pint of whiskey...It's not for me mind you but an ailing auntie..." Ron said as he waived his tooth pick in the air and tried to look heartbroken.

Kim had finally had enough and grabbed Ron by the arm and drug him to the car, "That's it...I'm done with this..."

"Easy kid, I was just makin' progress with her." Ron said angrily as Kim pushed him in the backseat of the car.

"I'M THROUGH WITH THIS RON!"

"Oh Kimmie..." Mrs. Dr. P. called from the front seat.

Kim turned to face her mother. She realized she was breathing hard from losing her temper and then calmed down, "Look, Ron let's just get you home."

"Look kid, I didn't mean to make you sore. I shoulda remembered you don't like it when I talk to strange women when I'm on a case." Ron told her as he patted her arm, "There, there, you got yourself all wound up."

Kim sighed and shook her head disgustedly, "Ron..." Then she looked up to see her mother looking at her very cross, "Never mind."

"Any luck buying cigarettes Ron?" Mrs. Dr. P. asked with mischievous grin.

"Nah...I don't see how the place stays open they have all that swell stuff but they won't sell it to nobody." Ron said dejectedly.

"Mom how did you know he was trying to buy cigarettes?" Kim asked.

"Oh honey everyone back then...I mean in Ronnie Diamond's world smokes." Mrs. Dr. P. explained.

"You can say that again sister...I mean Mrs. Possible." Ron said absently as he watched the scenery go by.

Once again they pulled up in front of Ron's house and dropped him off. Ron leaned back inside the car, "Coming Kim...I need you to take a letter."

Kim's eyes began burning with anger as she glanced towards her mother, "Oh Kimmie go take a letter. It might be fun."

This was obviously not going to be Kim Possible's day, "Alright mom." Then she glared at Ron, "One letter and one letter only."

They walked inside his house and then up the stairs to Ron's office. He pointed at the small plastic chair and handed Kim a notebook and a pencil, "This is going to the mayor...Dear Mayor...What's the guys name anyway?" Ron asked suddenly not knowing who the mayor was.

"HER name is Evelyn Stanton." Kim answered suddenly feeling very cocky.

"A woman...Geez no wonder everything is all fouled up. The people of this town got screwy and elected a dame to office." Ron said as he put both his hands on his hips in amazement.

Kim's temper began to boil once again, "Letter Ronnie." She said stiffly.

"Oh yeah right, Dear Mayor Stanton...Far be it for me to complain about your short comings as mayor for I realize that you cannot help being a woman." Ron suddenly jumped as he heard the loud crack of a pencil snapping in half behind him.

"Hey, wow that's some grip you got there kid." He said as he handed a very red faced Kim Possible another pencil before beginning again, "While I feel endeavors of a political kind are best left up to men...That in no way influences me in any way about the following complaints...Uh...One...Restrictive laws concerning the selling of cigarettes, alcohol and firearms to mature 16 year olds. I for one have had my life greatly enriched by all three of these and feel...ummm...that my rights as a citizen are being greatly curtailed."

Ron took a deep breath and looked to see Kim writing the letter but failing to notice her knuckles were white from gripping the pencil so tightly, "Two...The lack of public transportation here is shameful. I walked around for nearly four hours yesterday and didn't see one street car, bus or taxi cab...How's a kid supposed to get around?"

He walked up to the window and stared out. He then shook his head sadly, "Tear it up Kim...She's not going to listen to me...I'm not 21 so I don't vote."

Kim nodded, "Good idea."

Ron turned to look at her. She could see sadness in his eyes and her anger seemed to flow away from her, "Look you go out and have a swell time on your date. I'm going to rest up and go to the Bowery tonight looking for stoolies...I'll call yah tomorrow. OK kid?"

"You be careful OK?"

He nodded as he hung the trench coat up and then his blue tuxedo coat. He stopped suddenly and then remembered Rufus was asleep in his trench coat pocket. "I'll see yah tomorrow kid." Then he lay down on the bed and put his fedora over his eyes and tried to go to sleep.

Kim smiled and backed out of the room, _"He better snap out of this soon or I'm going to pound him."_

**II**

It was 5:30 PM, Kim had been dressed for her date with Josh for about a half an hour now. She was sitting in the middle of her bed holding her Panderoo thinking about what lay ahead of her for the date.

"_Josh is so cute and good looking. It took me forever to quit making myself look like a total loser in front of him...Would letting Josh let his hands roam be so awfully bad?"_

Kim sighed and looked up the street towards Ron's house, _"I wish Ron had all his marbles in one bag so I could talk to him...No...I couldn't talk to him...He is my best friend but...This is too personal and I know he'd freak out and try to keep me from going."_

She twirled the stuffed animal around a few times to clear her mind, _"The way his mind is now he'd probably want to beat Josh up...I mean it would be wrong for him to do that but I wonder who would win in a fight between Ron and Josh? I mean their both about the same size and muscularly challenged."_

Kim looked at herself in the mirror and pushed the idea out of her mind as being silly. She looked long and hard in the mirror, _"Would I feel any different if...I let him do things to me. OH GOD, What if he wants me to do things to him...I...I don't know if I'm ready for that and...and if I'm not...There's always Bonnie waiting to pounce."_

The thoughts swirled in her mind about all the different things that could happen on their date and it was beginning to make her nervous, _"I mean it's not like I'm afraid to be intimate but...I don't know...Maybe if I talked to mom...No she wouldn't let me go and dad would kill Josh and...I wish Ron had his marbles."_

Her mother called to her from downstairs, _"Kimmie, Josh is here."_

"I'll be down in a minute." Kim said as she stood up and picked up her handbag, _"Ron would be so upset if he knew what Josh wanted to do but...He's not very mature and wouldn't understand the pressure I'm under...I'm going to let Josh do what he wants and if it goes badly...It'll be just my dark little secret that I'll have to keep buried deep in my soul." _

Kim walked out of the room and down the stairs. She saw Josh smiling confidently, _"Why do I feel like he's looking at me as if I were a piece of meat?"_

"Hey Josh...You look...nice..." Kim said nervously.

"Your looking good yourself...Ready to go?" Josh said as he reached out and took her hand.

Kim turned to her mom, "I...I'll be back later."

Mrs. Dr. P. beamed at her daughter, "Remember your father's curfew."

"Oh...uh...I will."

Once out the door Josh eyed Kim over a little more appreciatively, "Your lookin' good Kim...New outfit?"

"Uh no...Just something I had lying around in the closet." She said as she walked to the passenger side of Josh's car.

"Cool"

"So where are we going tonight?"

Josh started the car up and backed out of the driveway, "I know a little secluded spot over in Middleton Park so we can get some alone time...You've been gone on so many missions lately that I think we need to...reconnect." He said with a grin.

"Oh...yeah...reconnect." Kim repeated unsure of how to take Josh's meaning.

The sun was starting to set in the west as the car pulled into the parking lot by the baseball diamonds. Josh pulled to a stop and got out. He reached into the back seat and took out a blanket, "Follow me...It's not far."

"_This is it? This is your idea of a big date? You cheap...monkey the least you could have done was buy me dinner." _Kim thought to herself more than a bit tweaked at Josh's priorities.

They walked a few hundred yards until they reached a small thicket behind a snow cone stand. Josh found a place out of sight of the parking lots, roads and walking trails that were sometimes frequented during the evening.

It was not yet spring so the park was for the most part deserted. The warm afternoon sun would soon be setting and then the temperature would cool off quickly. Kim hoped deep down inside that Josh's temperature would do the same.

"Uh...It's a little exposed...Do you think this is safe?" Kim asked nervously hoping to find a reason not to do what she knew Josh had in mind.

"Hey what could happen? After all you are Kim Possible." Josh reminded her.

"Oh...oh yeah...that's true?" Kim giggled nervously.

Josh sat on the blanket with his back against a tree and patted a spot between his legs, "Have a seat...so we can...reconnect."

Kim turned and walked quickly back to the snow cone stand, "I...I never saw this here before?" She said trying to think of a way out of her date and still retain Josh as her boyfriend.

He walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, "Hey...it's cool to be nervous...This is a big step for both of us." He said softly as he kissed the back of her neck.

"It...it is?" Kim stammered, _"Oh that feels so good...I...I won't protest too much...I think."_

Josh turned her around and backed her into the doorway of the snow cone stand and began to kiss her softly yet firmly, "You've been gone so much...I forgot how much kissing you really meant to me."

Kim moaned and nodded her head as she returned the kiss, _"He always knows just what to say."_

She felt Josh's hands move behind her back and then felt one hand move down the back of her pants and begin to feel her butt. Kim began to protest and then stopped, _"Oh...that feels good...OK...not so bad...if he tries to go any lower..."_ Josh's hand then began to work lower and Kim pulled away, "No"

"It's cool." Josh said patiently.

"Really?"

"Yeah" Josh mumbled as he began kissing her again Kim returned the kisses only this time Josh's hands began to move up.

She could feel his hands touching her bra from the back and before she knew what was happening it was unhooked. Her eyes shot open and then closed again as the two continued to kiss, _"I'll let him do this but only if stays above the waist."_

Josh's kisses moved lower and he was now kissing the nape of her neck. His hands moving ever so slowly towards her breasts, "I...I think I like this." Kim whispered.

"So do I" Josh whispered back.

Kim's breathing was becoming labored as the sexual tension grew inside her. Josh moved his hands along side her breasts and began to lift up her bra, _"Oh God this feels so good."_

"Aughhhhhh" Josh screamed as a hand attached itself to the back of his shirt and yanked him away from Kim.

Kim jumped and looked around confused, "Ahhhhhhhhhhh"

"_Get yer dirty paws off Kim."_ She heard Ron shout as Josh flew off to her left.

"RON" Kim said in alarm as she covered her chest instinctively.

"I knew you were a dirty two bit punk the minute I laid eyes on ya." Ron yelled just before he punched Josh in the mouth.

Josh fell backwards and then sprang to his feet and ran for his car. Ron took off his fedora and pointed it at the fleeing teen, "I ever catch you with Kim again you'll get more than a fat lip. YA HEAR ME!"

Kim suddenly found her voice, "RON STOP IT! You've ruined everything."

Ron turned and faced her, "Get yourself straightened up...I got a hot lead from a guy about a Green Lady."

She tried not cry, "Ron...What about my date...I...I..."

"You ain't missed nothin' kid the guy's all wrong for you anyway." Ron told her as he put a toothpick in his mouth.

Kim growled, "I can't believe you followed us all the way out here."

Ron narrowed his eyes, "Don't flatter yourself kid...I was walking this way for a shortcut to a certain place...Which we will go to as soon as you reassemble your undergarments."

"TURN AROUND" Kim said angrily.

He did as he was told with a soft chuckle, "Anyway...I hear all this moanin' and groanin' coming from the bushes so I says to myself, 'Hey I bet someone got plugged and dumped here to hide the body.' Imagine my surprise when I come across you and Monkey boy with his hands somewhere they shouldn't be on a lady..."

Kim sighed, "You can turn around now...I think I just lost a boyfriend because of you."

"Ahhhhh your better off for it kid...He wasn't your type anyway." Ron told her and he motioned for her to follow him.

"So where are we going then?" Kim asked as she fell in behind him.

"Speakeasy run by a guy named Big Daddy Brotherson...I hear he has a direct line to the Green Lady."

Kim shook her head not recognizing the name but not ready to let go of what they were talking about, "OK so if Josh isn't my type, then who is?"

Ron shrugged, "Beats me, all I know is he wasn't it."

She chuckled and shook her head, "Alright then who's your type smart guy?"

"Ah well there you go anglin' again...How many times do I have to tell ya we can only be friends...Wouldn't look right with me bein' the boss and you bein' the secretary if you know what I mean. Besides your too upscale for me...I like my dames rich and a little on the trashy side." Ron said with a grin.

"_I wish I had a tape recorder."_ Kim thought as she lifted an eyebrow, "Trashy huh?"

Ron stopped and wiped his brow with the sleeve of his trench coat, "Truth be told...I'm not all that particular."

She laughed not believing she was having this conversation at all, "Alright so what's a girl got to do for Ronnie Diamond to fall in love with her?"

"Aw no sister...I'm a confirmed bachelor...I ain't lookin' for no entanglements."

Kim shook her head, "I don't get you?"

"I'm like the wind baby...Nobody gets me." He told her before he continued walking.

She rolled her eyes and fell in behind him again as they made their way into the night to check out Ronnie Diamond's hot lead. Kim had quickly forgotten about Josh and was now more than a little fascinated with the new personality that Ron was adopting. Much to her own chagrin she was beginning to like this Ronnie Diamond persona.

Still this new persona of Ron's had just cost her a boyfriend that she had labored so long and hard to secure. Josh was the kind of boyfriend that she could hold over Bonnie Rockwaller's head and gloat about. Now Josh Mankey would probably be dating her by next week. Kim cringed at the thought, _"This had so better be worth it."_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: The email bots working again...Yeaaaaaaa. Well the game is afoot as they say. Many thanks to those of you that read and that have left reviews. The song below that is sung for Ron is an old Billie Holiday number called "I wished on the moon." circa 1936.**

**Write a review receive a reply...Now that the bot is fixed.**

**Bubba**

* * *

The hot tip had led them here. An industrial park just on the outskirts of Old Town, a part of the city that everyone knew to avoid. Kim looked around nervously. This was not the fashionable suburban neighborhoods that she was used to. This area was dirty and grimy and heck she thought most of her villains wouldn't be caught dead in this part of town.

"Isn't this great kid? Boy you can really smell the naked bowels of the city from here." Ron said eagerly as he now grasped her by the arm as he escorted her down another dark alley.

"Ron...I don't really like smelling bowels." Kim protested mildly.

They stopped across from what appeared to be an old abandoned warehouse. Kim closed her eyes and listened, "I hear music." She whispered.

Ron's eyes narrowed, "That's where the dope pusher told me to go?"

Kim looked stunned, "You actually talked to...a...a...dealer?"

He shrugged, "Not so much talked...I kind of held him off the side of the Penobscot River Bridge until he told me what I wanted to know."

"Oh" Kim said nervously not knowing weather to believe him or not.

"I'm going in."

"I'm going with you." Kim said instinctively.

Ron stopped suddenly, "No your not...This is man's work...Besides if I get beat up real bad I'll need someone to see to it I get home."

Kim's sucked in her cheeks and her eyes bulged out at him, "Fine, fine...You da man...You just go on in there by yourself."

"That's the plan...be back soon sweet cakes." He said as he strode confidently across the four lane blacktop road to reach the entrance.

_"You're crazy if you think I'm staying out here."_ She thought as she quietly began shadowing him.

She watched him look up and down the street before he knocked on the door. She wished she could have been closer in order to better hear just what was going on. Kim now examined the building closely, _"There has got to be some HVAC duct work somewhere up there that I can crawl through."_

Ron reached out and wrapped on the door three times. A small panel in the center of the door slid open to reveal only an eye. Then he heard the liquid honey voice come from the other side, "What is the password of the day?"

Ron took the toothpick out of his mouth and pointed at the eye, "I'm here to make Big Daddy Brotherson a deal."

There was a soft warm laugh from the other side of the door, "Not without a password your not."

He sighed impatiently and nodded, "Alakazzam"

The eye on the other side of the door blinked, "Not the right password but you intrigue me."

The panel slid shut and then he could hear three deadbolt locks being turned to let him in. Ron stepped into the room and was greeted by two of the largest men he had ever seen. One of them shoved him hard against the wall.

"Jake, Elwood that's enough...I don't believe that young Mr...?"

"Oh...uh...Diamond, Ronnie Diamond."

The heavy set man in a white seersucker suit nodded, "Release Mr. Diamond and do not injure him...at least until I hear what he has to say." The man said.

Ron straightened the creases out of his suit that were caused by the men and then took off his hat, "Mr. Brotherson...I have a proposition for you."

Kim had no mission gear with her so she had to skulk around the building looking for something to use to pull herself onto the roof with. There was nothing available to the untrained eye but to the eye of a crime fighting cheerleader there was always a way.

She quickly stood from her crouch and ran toward some crates. She launched herself into the air toward the top crate. She used that as a foot hold to spring to a warehouse windowsill after which she was able to leap vertically into the air and get a good firm hand hold onto the edge of the roof where she pulled herself silently into place. The whole maneuver took less that thirty seconds.

"_Crime fighting is man's work, huh."_ She thought as an evil grin spread across her face.

"So let me get this straight Mr. Diamond...I put you in touch with Drakken's people about this box and all I get out of this deal is Drakken owing me one." The fat man said thoughtfully as he stroked his chin.

"Simplicity is the key." Ron offered.

Big Daddy Brotherson chuckled happily, "Mr. Diamond...I like the way you think." Then Big Daddy Brotherson snapped his fingers, "Jake get a hold of the good Doctor for me, and Elwood please show our guest into the casino."

"Casino?" Ron said excitedly.

"Oh...do you play Mr. Diamond?" The man inquired curiously.

"I've been known to fancy a poker game from time to time."

Big Daddy Brotherson sat down on a large bean bag and reached over and handed Ron a handful of chips, "A thousand dollars on the house and Elwood see Mr. Diamond drinks are complimentary as well."

The large man nodded as Ron took the chips. His eyes lit up with excitement, "Gee Mr. Brotherson, you're like a guy with no left arm...Your all right."

Big Daddy Brotherson's watched Ron leave the entrance area to his illegal casino. Then his eyes narrowed speculatively, _"Finally a young man with panache and an impeccable sense of fashion...I wonder if he could be the one?"_

"Da...Boss...The Doc wasn't in but I talked to this really rude woman...and she said she'd take care of it."

The fat man held up his hand, "Enough Jake...Send a message to the Pit Bosses...Let Mr. Diamond win a little bit."

"Da yes Boss."

"_So...Shego is coming...My prize torch singer gone bad...I wonder how Mr. Diamond is going to fair against her charms...or her temper...a worthy test."_

* * *

"So Big Daddy Brotherson knows where to box with the part is…." Drakken mused.

"Yea says some kid in a trench coat has it…and wants to deal." Shego said suspiciously.

"Lassie it's a trap. Obviously yer wee Kim Possible has the box and is trying to lure us in with her lackey." Duff offered.

"Shego scrunched up her face and thought it over, "…No…No Princess isn't really known for deviousness…Perfect dental checkups yes…traps…no."

"I agree with Shego." Drakken said excitedly.

"Aye you're only agreeing with her to keep her from getting angry at you." Duff observed.

"I am not." Drakken said defensively.

"Are too."

"Are not."

Shego rolled her eyes, "So do I go snatch this kid or what?"

"Yes"

"No"

"Killigan she works for me not you." Drakken reminded him.

"_For the moment."_ Killigan crossed his arms and gloomed at Drakken.

"I don't think we need the kid…Just get the box." Drakken ordered.

Shego cracked her knuckles and smiled, "On my way."

Killigan scratched his chin and began to leave, _"I think I'll go and see if I can get the box first."_

"Killigan, Shego can handle this one on her own." Drakken said suspiciously.

"Aye, but I'm a wee bit hungry…I'll be seeing you later." He said menacingly.

Drakken growled, "Glad Shego works for me."

* * *

Ron followed the large bouncer into a beautiful gaming room. Ron was grinning from ear to ear, "Now this is more like it."

"Your coat sir?" A gorgeous blonde hat check girl that also happened to be scantily clad woman asked.

"Sure thing doll." Ron said as he took off his trench coat and hat before handing it to the woman

Kim finally found the right duct and came to a vent that overlooked the casino. She narrowed her eyes as she looked at the half naked woman that Ron was handing his coat to, _"They have got to be kidding?"_

The woman took the items and handed Ron a ticket with a number on it. Then as the woman turned away Ron patted her couple of times on her nylon covered but cheeks. Kim's eyes nearly popped out of her head then to her amazement the woman merely turned towards Ron and winked.

"_Ron Stoppable or whoever you think you are, you are so dead!" _Kim fumed silently to herself.

"Great place you guys got her Elwood." Then Ron spotted a poker table, "Hold the phone boys...I believe lady luck is calling my name."

Ron strode over to the nearest table, "What's the game boys?"

A large man in a white cowboy hat, brown suit, and sporting a big bushy mustache peered up at the newcomer, "Texas Hold em'."

He nodded and took a seat at the table, "Deal me in boys."

Another man in a blue tuxedo the same color as Ron's nodded his head, "Nice tux...What's your name anyway?"

Kim rolled her eyes, _"Nobody down there knows how to dress."_

Ron took his toothpick out of his mouth, "Diamond, Ronnie Diamond."

"You look kind of young to be here...Hell they call me The Kid but you really are one."

"Excuse me sir would you like to order a drink?" A red headed scantily clad waitress asked.

"Yea..."

The large Texan leaned over and grinned, "So tell me BOY, how do you like your whiskey."

Kim gulped, _"Don't do it Ron...Don't start drinking."_

Ron grinned, "Normally I take mine by the pint but since I'm trying to play cards...I'll have three fingers of J&B scotch a jigger of Beefeaters gin, pineapple juice over cubed...no crushed ice and I want that shaken not stirred with a lemon on the side."

The other men around the table nodded their heads in appreciation.

"That sounds pretty good I'll have one."

"Make that two."

"Three over here..."

The large Texan glared, "Now if all the drink orders are finished maybe we can get back to playin' poker."

"Hey Diamond what do you call that drink?"

Ron scrunched up his face as he thought it over, "I think I'll call it a Possible."

Kim's heart melted, _"Awwwwww he named a drink after me..."_ Then the realization of what had just transpired finally occurred to her, _"He named an alcoholic beverage after me...Your all class Ron."_

The waitress turned to leave and Ron patted her on the bottom. The waitress turned and lifted an eyebrow at the blonde headed card player, "She reminds me of my friend Kim...Only curvier."

Kim's nostrils flared, _"You are so dead Ronnie Diamond."_

"I love this place finally a place that'll has no inhibitions about serving a minor." Then Ron spotted a man with a cigar, "Awwwwww...I don't suppose you'd have another one of those around?"

The man passed Ron a cigar. He took it and bit the end off of it and spat it out, "Light?"

A player next to him lit the cigar for him. He took a long puff from the large stogie and exhaled a large plume of blue smoke into the air, "Finally civilization...A place where a man can be a man without any interference."

"Here, here" The card player known as The Kid seconded his thought.

"Yep, no having to listen to an aggravating, know it all, overbearing red head telling me how I should be living my life."

"_Oh you are so dead."_ Kim fumed from inside the duct work.

Ron finally had his two cards dealt to him. He turned the ends up carefully to reveal a pair of pocket kings. He studied the cards until his concentration was broken by the large Texan glaring at him, "It's your bet."

He stared back at the man and threw a couple of chips in, "I bet you must be called Tex?"

"That's right, Texas Bob the best card player to ever come out of the Lone Star state."

"So I guess that means you hail from Wichita?"

Texas Bob almost fell over, "NO BOY I'M FROM TEXAS...Christ almighty what have you got between those big floppy ears of yours?"

It was all Kim could do to keep from laughing, _"Serves you right."_

"You must be thinking about Kansas Jack...He's out of Philly." The Kid interrupted.

"No, no you must be thinking about San Fran Pete Mascone...He's out of Philly." Another player tried to help.

The betting continued and then the flop was turned over and two out of the three cards were kings. Ron knew he had the hand won so he bet large. Texas Bob leaned over and looked him square in the eye, "Boy...I think your bluffin', you know how you can tell when a man's bluffin'?"

Ron's face was mask free of emotion, "Look pops...I came here to play cards, not go to school so either bet or fold."

The Texan leaned back in his chair. He had wagered too many chips to walk away so he had no choice...but to stall and try to read Ron's body language, "Now that is down right un-friendly of you."

"I didn't come here to make friends I came here to make money." Ron told the man firmly.

"Alright boy...I'm callin' your bluff." Texas Bob said as he pushed in more chips.

Ron shoved the rest of his chips in, "Let em' ride."

Texas Bob turned over a pair of queens, "Say hello to the ladies."

The dealer looked on, "Texas Bob has a two pair."

Ron casually turned his two kings over as the rest of the table gasped, "Meet their daddies pops."

"A full house for Mr. Diamond."

Ron was raking in his chips when he saw her across the room, _"Of all the illegal gambling casinos on this planet and she has to walk into mine."_

Kim frowned from her vantage point, _"SHEGO"_

"I'm going to sit out this hand boys…I have to see a lady about a box." He said motioning towards Shego who now appeared in the full light of the room wearing a form fitting green and black cocktail dress that at least to Ronnie Diamond's wasn't hard on the eyes especially the liberal amounts of cleavage that was exposed to his young adolescent senses.

"Your drink sir." The red headed waitress returned.

Ron dropped a chip on her tray, "I'm sure the lady would like one…"

Shego lifted an eyebrow, "Mmmmmmmmmm, underage drinking…works for me." Shego said and then pointed to the waitress, "I'll have the same red."

Once again Ron patted her behind as she left and the waitress winked at him. Ron motioned towards the woman with his cigar, "So much like Kim, yet curvier."

"Yea you keep patting her butt you're going to end of raising her three kids." Shego snorted.

Ron looked after her, "No way lady, Ronnie Diamond is strictly bachelor material."

The red head returned with Shego's drink. This time Ron made sure not to pat her behind. Shego sized up the kid in the blue tux, "So you look different than I remember…You do remember the last time we met?"

"How could I forget…You wore green and I ended up black and blue." Ron said with a mischievous grin.

"Shego smiled and pointed towards a room that was dimly lit and hand candles in the center of all the tables, "I'm impressed you remember it so well…Shall we go to the lounge?"

"I'm game…Ladies first." Ron said as he motioned for her to go in front of him.

Kim shook her head, _"Don't do this Ron…I should just bust thru this grill…No…wait until Ron's actually in trouble."_ She then began to quietly move through the ductwork towards the lounge.

The two had a seat near a man playing a white baby grand Steinway piano. Shego leaned over towards Ron, "So you going to give me the box or am I gonna have to pound you again?"

Ron blew out a plume of blue smoke from his cigar, "So you think I'm stupid enough to have it on me?"

Shego smirked, "Fine time for a pounding." She said as she ignited the green glow of her hands and then just as quickly extinguished them as she realized the boy in the blue tux was smiling, "What gives?"

"You won't knock me around." He said confidently.

"…and what makes you so certain I won't?" Shego asked suspiciously.

"Because you need me and I need me." Ron told her his voice becoming far more serious.

Shego's upper lip curled, "Wha…I need you and you need you?"

Ron nodded his head, "Yea that's about the size of it."

"So you think we need the part that bad that I can't just pound you until you tell me?" She asked.

"Yea"

"So how do you figure this?"

He smiled and swirled his drink, "Because if you didn't need the box you wouldn't be here."

Shego crossed her arms and then took her drink, "Alright so I'm not going to pound you…yet."

They each took a drink and Ron's eyes nearly popped out of his head, "Ahhh…Hotcha, cha, cha, cha, zoooohhhhhhhhhllllllllll, chud, hubba, da, hubba, da, hubbaba…"

"Drinkie poo a little strong for you?"

Ron finally got his eyes to stop watering, "Oh yea that's the good stuff..."

"Princess know you're here?"

"Uhhh…Kim? No…She's a little narrow minded about such things." Ron said just before he took a pull from the cigar.

"Oh and you aren't…Put that smelly thing out." She said impatiently motioning towards his cigar.

"I got needs sister…Ol' Ronnie Diamond knows his shot at the brass ring when he sees it."

She rolled her eyes, "Put out the cigar…I'm turning green here."

Ron grinned, "Funny, very funny." He said as he stubbed the cigar out in an ash tray. Then he held the cigar up, "A woman is only a woman but a good cigar is a smoke."

Shego leaned over to just inches off of Ron's nose, "Well can a cigar do this?" She then stood up and walked over to the piano, "Play Gloomy Sunday for me Joey."

The piano player shook his head, "No Shego, any song but not that song."

"Play it." She said as she ignited her hands.

"Yes ma'am"

Joey began to play the song Shego requested as she hopped up on the piano and picked up a microphone and started to sing.

"_I wished on the moon  
For something i never knew"_

Kim's eyes grew wide from the air vent over head, _"SHEGO CAN SING?"_

Shego lay across the piano and sang to him longingly.

"_Wished on the moon  
For more than i ever knew."_

Kim shook her head still in utter disbelief, _"NO WAY"_

_"A sweeter rose, a softer sky  
On april days that would not dance by"_

Shego slid off the piano and sat down next to Ron and began running her fingers through his hair.

_"I begged on the stars  
To throw me a beam or two"_

Ron was grinning from ear to ear as Shego came close to kissing him before veering off.

_"Wished on the stars  
And asked for a dream or two"_

Shego walked her fingers up Ron's chest and laid on her most powerful seductive powers.

"_I looked for every loveliness  
It all came true"_

Ron's breathing was labored and his eyes had turned to molten pools of chocolate before her. She knew she had him in her power.

_"I wished on the moon for you"_

She then leaned in a gave Ron a soul searing kiss.

Kim gasped audibly from the vent above them, _"RON…You are so dead…Stop kissing Shego!"_

Shego broke off the kiss and played with his hair, "How about you tell Shegoweego where the boxiewoxy is?"

Ron grinned stupidly and whispered, "Noseewoesee"

Shego shoved him away and growled as her hands began to glow a bright angry green. Ron held up a finger, "Uh…uh…uh…You need me and I…need me."

The hands quit glowing, "Fine how do we reach you?"

"Don't call me, I'll call you." Ron said as picked himself up off the floor.

Shego then turned and stormed off. She reached the entrance in a blind rage. No and she meant no one had ever turned her seductive powers against her to make her look so foolish. She reached for the door handle to leave.

"Leaving so soon Shego?"

She turned and was ready to vaporize anyone in her way and then she calmed down, "Hey Big Daddy"

"Your still working for Drakken…Oh I do wish you'd come back to work for us…We had so many good times together." Big Daddy Brotherson said sadly.

"Yea well what's a girl who enjoys violence supposed to do singing in a lounge?"

Big Daddy Brotherson shook his head, "I paid you better than he does."

Shego sighed, "Yea well it's the intangibles…Travel…Leisure…The knee to the groin…A girls got her dreams you know."

He shook his head sadly, "I'm afraid your predilection towards violence will be your downfall one day."

Shego turned away, "Yea well…I made my decision…It's too late for me."

"I trust we'll be seeing more of you?" The fat man said hopefully.

Shego stopped at the doorway, "You never know." Then she opened the door and walked into the night.

Ron did what he set out to do. Make contact with the bad guys and get them playing his game. He took his coat and hat from the lady near the front. Once again he made sure not to pat any butts for fear of being forced into child rearing duties. He stopped when a voice called out to him.

"Mr. Diamond…Sir"

He turned, "Yea"

"Your winnings from the poker table sir." The thin balding man with a mustache said handing him a rather thick envelope.

Ron sized up the envelope, "How much is it?"

"I believe twelve thousand dollars."

"WHAT? Oh…yea…thanks." He said nervously as he shoved the envelope into his coat pocket and made his way to the front. _"Not a bad haul for a nights work."_

He waived to Big Daddy Brotherson, "Great place you got here."

"I'm glad you like it…I'll be sure to put you on the official guest list from now on Mr. Diamond."

"Gee that'd be swell thanks Big Daddy." He said as he walked out the door.

"_Now to see if he survives the attack outside."_ The fat man thought impishly as he eagerly watched the security monitors.

* * *

Ron stepped out the door and walked towards the corner where he had left Kim. Suddenly a golf club struck him between the shoulder blades sending him to the ground.

"GET UP LADDIE, I want that box."

He held up his hand as he tried to catch his breath, "You need me and I need me."

"I don't need anything except that box." Killigan said as he raised the golf club over Ron's head.

Suddenly he was pulled backwards, "You want to beat him up, you'll have to get in line behind me." She said angrily.

Killigan took a wild swing at Kim and missed as she leaped back out of range of the club, "Stand still you wee little…"

He never finished his thought as there was a loud thud, then Killigan's eyes rolled up in his head before he sank to the ground unconscious. Ron was standing in front of her now smiling and shaking a sock that was jingling with loose change.

"Ten bucks never sounded so good." He said referring to the now shattered roll of quarters that had served as his makeshift black jack.

She frowned and strode past him, "I'm not talking to you."

Ron shook his head, "Come on kid, I was only kidding in there."

Kim spun around, "NO YOU WEREN'T… Aggravating, know it all, overbearing red head…"

"Kid…I knew you were up in the pipes and I was just havin' some fun with ya." Ron said defensively.

She backed up, "You didn't know."

Ron smiled, "Kid…I'm a detective…I cased the whole joint…" Then he stepped forward and touched the end of her nose with his forefinger, "…and I'd recognize those shiny emerald peepers anywhere."

Kim screwed up her face as she was still angry and trying to process the information that he had just given her. She put her hands on her hips, "Well what's the idea of kissing Shego?"

"She kissed me!" he said defensively.

"Well you didn't try and stop her."

Ron smiled, "Well…I can't argue with that."

Kim turned and stomped away leaving Ron staring at her and shaking his head, _"Women…can't live with em', can't live without em'."_ He thought sadly as he began to follow her towards home.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter but I was dealing with a pesky critter known as real life. Many thanks to AtomicFire, Joe Stoppinghem, Lonestar, YYJ, Akinyi, MrDrP, Zardoz101, Whitem, theotherdave, CajunBear73, Spectre666 and Poiko for their great reviews.**

**Once again write a review, receive a reply.**

**Bubba**

**Oh yea, I do not own Kim Possible or any of the characters from the Kim Possible television series.**

* * *

"_Kim, Ronnie Diamond's here to walk you to school."_

"OK, thanks mom." Kim sighed, _"I didn't hear from him all day yesterday. I was hoping Ron was back to normal...I am so tired of being called kid."_

Kim grabbed her book bag and walked down the stairs and opened the door. There stood Ronnie Diamond resplendent in a grey pinstripe suit, trench coat and the ever present fedora. She shook her head, "Hey Ron."

Ron took his tooth pick out of his mouth, "Hi ya kid. You ain't still sore about the other night are ya?"

Kim frowned as they continued to walk, "I'm still not wild about you kissing Shego, but other than that..."

"Kid, you ain't got nothin' to be jealous about...It was just a kiss."

"I'm not jealous. It's just that Shego is bad...If you would have been kissing a good girl..." Kim cut her thought short, "So is that why you didn't bother to call me yesterday?"

He shook his head, "I was in a bit of a jam on the home front yesterday. I get in at 3:00AM smelling of cigars, cheap liquor and lipstick on my collar and ma goes a little nuts."

Kim giggled, "I can imagine."

"Says I ain't actin' right blames you..."

"ME?"

He winked at her, "Don't worry kid, I kept your name out of it."

Kim shook her head, "Thanks."

"Not a problem...So then tells me that it's all dads fault for not giving me the talk. So she has him give me the talk."

She looked puzzled, "The talk?"

Ron grinned, "Yea, you know...birds and the bees."

"Ohhhhhh" Kim said suddenly understanding.

"He got it all wrong." Ron said chuckling to himself. "So anyways I give the old man a few pointers, mom's all smiles and cheeriness this morning and I'm out of trouble."

Kim eyed him suspiciously, "You gave your dad pointers?"

"Yea"

"Like what?" She asked trying to sound innocent.

Ron smiled, "Awwwww nooooo...Ronnie Diamond doesn't disclose trade secrets to just anybody."

They finally had Middleton High School insight, "Geezzzz...Is that where we're headin' it looks like a prison."

"Oh well then you should feel right at home then." Kim told him trying not to grin.

"Funny, Red, real funny."

They walked in the door and Kim immediately became aware of the stares that were coming Ron's way. They were only matched in the stares that Ron was giving them. Ron leaned over and whispered into Kim's ear, "Get a load of those chumps that don't know how to dress."

Kim let out a deep breath, "Ron...Your locker is down that way...Just wait here till I get my things."

"I shall keep my feet firmly planted here and I shall eagerly await your return." Ron said happily as he smiled at girl that was having a hard time not laughing at him.

Kim walked to her locker to get her books. Ron looked at all the strange faces passing by him in the hall. He tapped his right pocket of his trench coat, "Rufus...whataya make of this place?"

Rufus popped his head up from the pocket and looked around, "School...Bleeck"

"You said it partner." Ron said softly.

Josh Mankey suddenly came into view. Ron frowned, _"I bet he's going to be up to no good. I better tail him."_

Ron fell into step behind Josh as they walked down the hall. Ron pulled up around the corner from where Josh's locker was. Two other boys approached Josh, "Hey Josh...How'd the big date go with Kim?"

"Yea...She finally put out for you?" One of the other boys said with grin.

Josh grinned easily, "You know how it is guys...I'm used to getting what I want."

Ron gritted his teeth and threw his toothpick to the ground, _"No body dishes dirt on Kim."_

"I took her to that spot I was telling you guys about and it was long before she was..." Josh never got to finish his story as his face was suddenly shoved into the row of lockers.

"Nobody dishes dirt on Kim, NOBODY...Ya got it!" Ron snarled as the other two boys ran away from the man in the trench coat.

Josh could only meekly nod his head before finding his voice, "Yes"

"Yes, what?"

He closed his eyes, "Yes...sir."

Ron turned him loose but not before shoving him into the lockers one more time, "You ain't exactly the sharpest knife in the shed so I'll make it simple for ya." Ron then stuck his index finger into his face, "Stay away from Kim or I'm gonna come lookin' for ya...Got it?"

Josh nodded and ran off down the hallway. Ron turned to see that he had quite an audience looking on, "Whattaya all starin' at."

The crowd turned away quickly and went about their morning routines. Ron looked around and realized he didn't know where he was supposed to be or where his locker was or for that matter where Kim was.

He rubbed his chin and tried to reason it out as best he could, _"D Hall...I bet I'm in there because Diamond starts with a 'D'. Yea, that's it."_

Ron walked into what had been previously off limits. For Ron Stoppable 'D' Hall meant pain, anguish and certain poverty as any number of bullies would push and shove their way to him to deprive him of his lunch money.

Today was no exception as Ron was quickly surrounded by three unfriendly looking boys, "We got you Stoppable and without your friend Kim around for you to hide behind."

"I think you have me mistaken for someone else. The name's Diamond, Ronnie Diamond." He said without a care in the world as he quickly assessed his situation.

"I don't care what you call yourself, I want your lunch money." The boy who stood a few inches taller than Ron said.

Ron could tell this one was used to getting what he wanted, "I tell ya what I'm going to do...I'm going to ask my advisor if I should give you my money."

"Advisor?"

He tapped the side of his coat pocket, "Rufus...I got a question for ya."

The other boys rolled their eyes as Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket. The naked mole rat was clearly blurry eyed from taking a nap, "What?"

Ron pulled another toothpick from his pocket, "This Palooka seems to think I should give him my money...What do you think?"

Rufus narrowed his eyes, "Knock his block off."

A quick left hand shot out from Ron's side slapping the boy in the face. Before the kid could react Ron's right fist was connecting with his chin to send the kid sprawling backwards.

Ron then turned for the next boy who was still standing in stunned disbelief at what he was seeing and punched him in the nose knocking him back into the lockers. Ron quickly turned for the third only to see his back as he ran up the hall.

"Had enough fun?"

He turned quickly again to see Kim standing with her arms crossed looking very cross with him, "What part of wait here don't you understand?"

He smiled and shrugged, "I was just taking care of a few business matters."

"Let's get you to your locker...Follow me." Kim said as she turned and walked away from 'D' Hall.

"I heard you had a run in with Josh." Kim's green eyes flashed angrily at him.

"We had words."

"Look Josh is a good boy friend and I don't need you screwing this up." Kim whispered urgently.

Ron smirked, "From what he's been tellin' the fellows...it makes it sound as if you're a real good girlfriend if you catch my drift."

Kim stopped, "What are you saying?"

He tilted his head to one side and took the toothpick from his mouth, "Only that you were doin' things with him the other night you shouldn't be doin'...That's all."

She stood motionless for a few moments as she processed the information that Ron had just given her. Then she quickly dismissed it, "No...No, Josh wouldn't do anything like that...He's too sensitive for that." She said firmly.

"Hey no sweat here, after all it's your reputation not mine." Ron said casually as he returned the toothpick to his mouth.

Kim helped Ron get the necessary books for the first part of their day and went to their history class. Kim cringed as she saw that Mrs. Brooks wasn't there and that Mr. Barkin was subbing.

"All right class, listen up. Mrs. Brooks couldn't be here today as she suddenly decided to listen to her inner muse and take up underwater basket weaving." Barkin said matter of factly.

There were a few moans and Barkin held up his hand again, "Turn to chapter 14...Alright anyone got a date for when Hawaii and Alaska were made states?" No hands went up so Barkin scanned the room, "Stoppable"

Ron made no effort to answer the question as he was looking around to see if the guy named Stoppable was going to answer. Barkin shook his head, "Stoppable...answer the question."

He could see that Barkin was staring directly at him now so Ron pointed to himself, "Me?"

"Is that hat covering your ears? Of course I mean you."

"You got it all wrong Mr. Teacher Man. My name's not Stoppable."

There was a smattering of laughter from around the room. Barkin held up his hand again, "So who exactly are you?"

Ron sat up straight and grinned, "Diamond, Ronnie Diamond Private Eye."

Kim sank low in her seat and waited for the laughter to die down. Barkin grinned, "Alright Diamond have it your way...Now answer the question."

He shook his head, "Can't because those two places ain't states."

Barkin leaned forward and narrowed his eyes, "Alright smart guy...Just how many states are there then."

"Every kid knows that there are 48 states from sea to shining sea." Ron looked around the room as everyone was now laughing at him, "Well...there is only 48 states."

**

* * *

**

Lunch time couldn't have come at a more opportune time for Kim Possible. She finally had time for herself away from Ron who was being held over after biology class for threatening to dissect a student who tried to steal his hat.

Monique sat down next to her and patted her hand sympathetically, "Girl...I know what your going through."

Kim sighed and shook her head, "No...no Monique you don't...I mean...I try to feel sympathy for Ron but he's just so aggravating."

"I hear he ruffed up Josh Mankey."

Her eyes closed and for a moment Monique thought that Kim was going to cry, "If Ron wouldn't have gotten hurt I'd still have a boyfriend. The date was going fine and then Ronnie Diamond shows up and punches Josh's lights out."

Monique grinned, "Come on now admit it...You kind of liked having someone stick up for you didn't you."

"No...No Monique, I'm a modern girl...I don't need a guy who thinks it's 1935 trying to protect me from myself...The date was going fine...hugging, kissing and then Ronnie Diamond." Kim said sadly.

Monique blinked, "So you and Josh didn't..."

She shook her head unsure where Monique was going, "Didn't?"

"You know...NLAV."

Kim shook her head again, "NLAV?"

Monique looked around to make sure they were alone, "No longer a virgin."

"WHAT?"

She motioned for Kim to sit down as she was attracting undue attention to herself. Then she filled her in, "Josh is sort of telling people...about last Saturday night...Minus Ronnie Diamond."

Kim pursed her lips together, "So that's what Ron was talking about...When I get a hold of Josh Mankey..."

"Hey ladies mind if I sit down and eat with you?"

Kim leaned back in her chair and motioned for Ron to sit in the seat across from her. Ron sat down and began staring at Monique as he tried to make conversation, "I was told I could find a nutritious meal here...That may be but I found my results...varying." he said as lifted a fork with a gray colored meat on it.

Monique shifted in her seat uncomfortably, "Ron why are you staring at me?"

Ron looked away quickly, "No reason Kid...It's just that...I think it's swell that they're letting you people go to school with us now."

Kim's eyes flew open and she quickly sat up. Monique's eyes looked as though they were going to pop out of their sockets. She slammed her fork down on her tray and forced herself to remain civil, "You People?" She repeated through clenched teeth.

"Yea, you know...Negros...Colored folk."

Monique began to tremble with rage. Then she forced a smile on her face and in her best southern accent replied, "Why thank you, it shore is good of you to let our kind go to school with you pretty white folk."

Her anger was lost on Ron however as he spotted Tara and Janie getting up to leave and go back to class leaving Bonnie Rockwaller all by herself at the table. Ron quickly stood up and left just as Monique's fist passed where his head had been.

Kim leaned across the table and grabbed the angry girl. Monique's eyes were wide, "I'm going to kill him...I'm going to kill him."

"You have to stand in line because I'm first. Now you see what I've had to put up with. I'm so sick and tired of being called doll face, sweet cakes, and if he calls me kid one more time..."

Bonnie Rockwaller looked up from her tray of food. She shook her head as the on coming spectacle of Ronnie Diamond approached her table, _"I wonder what game Stoppable is playing at now?"_

"Mind if I sit down and keep you company."

Bonnie lifted an eyebrow, "Go ahead."

Ron sat down and smiled at Bonnie, "So tell me...you come here often?"

"Only Monday thru Friday." Bonnie said flatly, _"Why isn't he eating with Possible and do I really want to be seen with him?"_

"So I see you sitting at this table all by yourself and I was wondering. What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"_He has got to be kidding me?"_ Bonnie leaned back in her chair, "Stoppable...You couldn't afford to date me...So quit playing games and get lost."

Ron looked around, "Who is this Stoppable guy anyway? As far as money goes toots...I got twelve grand burning a hole in my pocket."

Bonnie's eyes lit up, "REALLY?"

Ron smiled and nodded, "Yea...I figure I could use a few grand to spring for a car and the rest we could go out and paint the town red...whataya say Doll?"

"_Twelve grand...That's a good enough reason to go out with Stoppable."_ Bonnie thought as she weighed her decision, "OK"

"Oh...ah...Forgive my manners the name is Diamond...Ronnie Diamond and you are...?"

Bonnie rolled her eyes, "The name is Rockwaller...Bonnie Rockwaller."

"So what ya say to me picking you up at 7:00 then?"

Bonnie shook her head, "Can't...We have to cheer at a basketball game tonight...Remember." She said leaning forward and tapping on Ron's head. Ron looked bewildered until Bonnie explained further, "You're the Middleton Mad Dog, remember?"

Ron blinked, "Ummm...Yea if you say so Doll."

"So it's agreed, we both jump him in the parking lot and beat the snot out of him." Monique said excitedly.

Kim grinned impishly, "Oh...Oh...I'd like that but...I don't know what if we make the problem worse."

Monique gasped and grabbed Kim's arm, "The problem's worse."

She looked around to see what Monique was talking about and then she spotted Ronnie Diamond and gasped in alarm, "Oh no, he's hitting on Bonnie."

Kim leapt from her seat and ran to the table that Ron was sitting at, "Come on Ron...time to quit kidding around with Bonnie."

"Hey Kid, Bonnie has just agreed to help you with your problem." Ron said happily.

Kim froze for a moment, "My problem?"

Bonnie grinned evilly and nodded her head, "Ummm hmmmm"

Ron motioned towards Bonnie with his toothpick, "I was telling Bonnie all about your lack of good fashion judgment and she's agreed to help get your wardrobe straightened out."

"WHAT!" Kim said suddenly horrified.

"Now you don't have to thank me or Bonnie we're doing it all for you Kid."

Kim's face turned red and her eyes bulged out, "What's wrong with the way I dress?"

Bonnie grinned, "Oh...just everything."

"Yea I mean its high time you stopped goin' around wearin' pants that don't go down to your ankles and shirts that don't fit right and show off your bellybutton..."

"They're supposed to look like this...They're in style." Kim said defensively.

Bonnie shook her head and rolled her eyes, "White top with a heart in the center...I wouldn't be caught dead wearing something like that."

"See Bonnie's sensibly dressed, nice skirt that shows a little leg, matching top...That if I may say is very flattering to your figure." Ron said with a wink.

"WHAT...I...THAT'S IT...You dirty..." Kim said angrily as she turned and stomped away from them.

Ron blinked and pointed at the retreating figure, "What's eatin' her?"

Bonnie smiled and took Ron's hand, "Jealousy...She never could match me for fashion sense. Now let's talk about your money."

**

* * *

**

The rest of the school day went by in a red fog for Kim. She was so upset with Ron that she quit talking to him altogether and Ron finally had the good sense to stop trying to talk to her.

Once Kim reached home she had time to relax and then get ready for the big basketball game that night. The game was to decide the conference championship between the Middleton Mad Dogs and their arch rivals the Lowerton Lemurs.

Kim changed walked around her room and assembled all the necessary gear for her cheerleading outfit and placed them in a gym bag. Then she looked herself over in the mirror before heading out, _"There's nothing wrong with my look."_ She thought defiantly.

She walked out the front door of her house and failed to notice a car that was slowly wheeling up behind her. She continued walking towards school when the car revved its engine up suddenly making her jump. She whirled around to face the noise expecting the worst only to discover it was Ron.

"Hey Kim, I hope your still not mad at me...How do you like my new car?"

"Yes, I'm still mad at you and the car looks spankin'." She said flatly.

"Kid...I didn't mean to make you mad at me. I thought I was doin' ya a favor. I didn't mean nothin' by it."

Kim looked over the shiny new car and sighed, "Let's get one thing straight from here on in. I am not your secretary, I am your friend. Got that?"

Ron nodded, "Sure, sure Kid anything you say."

"The clothes I wear is my business and not yours got it?"

"Sure...I realize I made a terrible error in judgment and it won't happen again."

Kim nodded her head, "OK then."

"Give you a lift to school?"

She smiled and nodded her head, "Sure...What kind of car is this anyway?"

Now it was Ron's turn to smile, "The finest candy apple red car ten grand could buy. It's a 1937 Plymouth DeLux sedan with a special three hundred and fifty cubic inch Chevrolet powered racing engine and a DeLux sound system that will make you think Benji Monroe and his orchestra is in the car with ya."

Kim slid into the passenger seat that she couldn't help thinking resembled her parents sofa, "I thought this was 1935 smart guy."

Ron gave her a wink of the eye and a knowing nod, "It is but you see...Ronnie Diamond knows people."

She looked down her nose at Ron and lowered her voice, "Ohhhhh Ronnie Diamond knows people." She then began looking around the vehicle, "Where are the seat belts?"

"What? Are you crazy? What would you want seatbelts for? Everyone knows it's safer not to have them. You want to get thrown clear in case of a crash not stay inside the car." Ron shook his head and chuckled, "Women"

Kim narrowed her eyes and shook her head in return, "Men...Still it's a pretty car."

"I think I'll call her Bessie." Ron said thoughtfully.

"Bessie, huh?" Kim nodded her head in approval.

Ron wheeled the gigantic steel tank away from the curb and continued to explain the various gages and knobs to Kim, "This is the gauge that tells the temperature of the motor, this one tells me that the generator is generating, this one tells me I got gas. This knob cranks the windshield up should I need some air..."

Kim leaned over and hit the power switch for the stereo. The high dollar sound system began blaring out a hip hop song and there was a thunderous bass coming from the large subwoofers mounted in the trunk.

Ron screamed at the top of his lungs and pulled the car over and began pushing buttons on the stereo to make the awful noise stop, "What was that racket?"

She laughed and changed to a less offensive radio station, "its music Ron."

"Not from where I'm sitting." He said as he drove once again for the high school.

They pulled up in front of the gym. They still had plenty of time before the game started. Ron turned off the engine and got out of the car. He patted the large fender on the drivers side, "I'll be back soon Bessie."

Kim smiled and shook her head, _"Boys and their toys."_

"Come on Mad Dog we have to get ready."

She took Ron to the ladies locker room and had him wait outside, "I'll come get you when we're ready."

"I'll be right here." Ron said as pulled on the brim of his fedora. Kim then disappeared into the locker room and Ron let out a deep breath, _"Whew boy, I dodged a mighty big bullet that time. I coulda sworn she was never going to talk to me again. That Kim is really alright."_

Ron walked back towards the front door and looked outside to see Bessie sitting in the parking lot. _"Is this great or what? No more having to find a street car or a taxi. I got my own set of wheels."_

"Ron you can come in now."

He turned and walked back towards the locker room. He followed Kim inside admiring her cheerleader outfit until he saw the rest of the squad. His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Ron began giggling insanely.

"Ron are you OK"

"Sure, sure Kid...It's only...So many women, so little time." Ron exclaimed excitedly.

Kim pulled him back by his elbow, "Calm down there boy."

Ron's eyes were still wide open, "Who's the little blonde sitting there?" He whispered.

She raised and eyebrow, "That's Tara Morgan."

He began giggling again, "Tara...Looks like a tasty dish." Then Ron began acting as though he were squeezing a ripened tomato, "...and a dish I'd like to sample."

Kim pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, "Ron, Tara and I have been friends for a long time. So let's not talk about her ever again that way, OK."

Ron was suddenly jolted back to reality, "Oh, oh sure Kid...I sometimes forget my manners...My apologies."

Bonnie spotted Ron, "Ron it's so good to see you and your money?"

"Sorry Bon Bon but daddy bought a new car and is kinda tapped out right now...So are we still on for tomorrow night."

"Drop dead loser...No money no Bon Bon." Bonnie told him venomously.

Ron tilted his head and motioned towards her with his ever present toothpick, "Gotta admire a girl who isn't afraid to say what's she's after right off the bat."

He looked at the other girls and smiled, "Anyway ladies, Ronnie Diamond has a new car a lovely red Plymouth with a great big backseat if one...or more of you should be interested in exploring it with me..."

The other cheerleaders chuckled and shook their heads. Kim pushed the Mad Dog mask into his chest, "Here you go lover boy."

Ron's eyes lit up, "A disguise...clever, clever."

The game was starting and Ron could barely see out of the mask. He took Kim by the arm, "Kid...Kid, what do I do?"

Kim waived at the cheering crowd, "Just stay out of the way and waive at people."

"I...I can do that."

The cheerleaders went through their routines as Ron made certain to stay out of the way. He pointed at small children he could see with his obscured vision and waived at the crowd who seemed to enjoy the Mad Dog's new look.

Monique sat in the bleachers laughing, "That poor boy looks like McGruff the Crime Dog."

Ron still had his toothpick and tried a few times to put it in his mouth only to encounter the mask. After a time he gave up and went back to motioning towards the crowd with it, _"This isn't such a bad gig after all."_

The game was tight and tensions were high at the halfway mark Middleton had a four point leader over their county rivals. The Middleton cheerleaders took to center court as Ron looked on excitedly, _"A veritable smorgasbord of beauty."_

Then a voice came over the loud speaker, "...And now it's time for the mascot face off."

The crowd cheered wildly. Kim took Ron out to the center of the court and screamed something in his ear that he couldn't make out over the noise of the crowd. He looked around in a panic as he realized that Kim had left him in the center of the gym.

Then he spotted the opposition, _"What is that supposed to be? Looks like a skunk."_

The Lowerton band struck up a dance tune and the Lemur mascot began dancing around and showing his moves off. Ron looked around and then an idea hit him, _"I bet this is some sort of weird gladiatorial show down."_

Once the number was over the Lemur mascot placed his hands on his hips and began tapping his foot impatiently as the Lowerton crowd roared with approval. Ron stood motionless for a moment as the Middleton band began playing a tune.

"_No one disrespects Ronnie Diamond on his own turf."_ He thought angrily as he threw down his toothpick and grabbed the Lowerton Lemur by the shoulders before driving his knee into the creature's midsection.

Ron then threw the large creature onto the floor got on top of it and began pummeling it with blows. Meanwhile the crowd went wild as both sides of the stands emptied onto the floor and a full scale riot broke out.

Kim looked on in horror and then did her best to try and pick her way thru the waves of humanity that now blocked her access to the court. She suddenly ducked to her right to miss a blow from a Lowerton cheerleader.

She instinctively swung back connecting with the girls jaw sending her reeling backwards, _"Oh...I shouldn't have done that...still...it was kind of fun."_

Then she spied Josh Mankey from a mere ten feet away from her, _"Should I? No...I shouldn't...Yea...I should."_

She pushed her way towards the attractive teen. He spotted her coming, "KIM HELP"

Kim threw a right hook that connected with his jaw sending him to the gym floor where he vanished under a pile of Lowerton fans, _"Oh yea that felt good...Now time to go find someone else to hit." _She thought happily as she waded into the sea of bodies.

Thus ended Ronnie Diamond's first day of school. As the boy in the trench coat and dog mask was being led out in handcuffs by the Tri-County SWAT Team he had time to reflect upon his day, _"Let's see, six fights, a minor tiff with Kimberly, got in a minor riot, bought a new set of wheels and I still have two grand in which to make bail...All in all not a bad first day of school."_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I swear this story is just flowing so naturally. Everything is just jumping onto the page. Many thanks to AtomicFire, S-Chrome, Joe Stoppinghem, Lonestar, YYJ, Akinyi, MrDrP, Zaratan, Zardoz101, Whitem, Burpadski, Brother Bludgeon, theotherdave, Angush, CajunBear73, Rising Zan-Samurai Gunman****, Spectre666 and Pojko for their great reviews.**

**Once again write a review, receive a reply.**

**Bubba**

**Oh yea, I do not own Kim Possible or any of the characters from the Kim Possible television series.**

* * *

Kim Possible sat with her elbows resting on her knees and her head resting in her hands. She was trying to pinpoint at just what moment her life went so horribly wrong. No matter how she sliced it and diced the facts it all led up to one person, Ronnie Diamond. She was always one of the good guys before and now this is what it had come to. Here she was in a locked room staring at a plain brown steel door waiting for her parents to come and get her out. 

Kim felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned to look straight into the eyes of the Middleton Mad Dogs mascot. A muffled voice from inside the giant dog mask asked her a question.

"First time in Juvie Hall?"

She nodded that it was and then turned and glared at the kid in the mask, "Ron take that stupid thing off right now."

Ron took off the Mad Dog mask and sat it down next to him, "Don't worry Kid the first time is always the toughest. So don't feel bad if you end up cracking and start clawing at the walls while calling for you mother...I won't think any less of you."

Kim shook her head in disbelief, "Gee thanks."

"I mean you're a good kid, you wash behind your ears and smell nice most of the time. They'll go easy on ya...Me on the other hand, with my checkered past...It's going to be the farm for me." Ron said sadly.

"Farm?" Kim shook her head not quite understanding.

He swallowed hard and nodded, "Yea...the chain gang...I'll be wearing a black and white striped clothes and I'll be shackled to other boys with a record and we'll be forced onto this farm where we'll have to pick peaches."

"Ron this is Colorado we don't have peach farms here." Kim said in disbelief.

A look of panic overcame Ron's face, "Yea then the screws with their shotguns will put the boots to us and, and..." Ron threw himself at the door and began to claw at it, "MOMMY, Mommy come get me...I won't be bad no more. Please don't let em' send me to the farm...PLEASE..."

"Stoppable cut it out, your embarrassing us." Bonnie Rockwaller said from the other side of the room.

Tara felt so sorry for Ron she walked over to the door and knelt down beside him and took him by the hand, "Don't worry Ron we won't let them send you to a farm."

"Speak for yourself Tara!" Another cheerleader chimed in.

Tara helped Ron off the floor and took him over to the benches where the rest of the cheer squad was seated. She cradled him in her arms and stroked his hair. "There, there Ronnie, no one is going to take you away to a farm." She cooed.

Ron looked over to Kim gave her a wink and a grin. Kim rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, "You are incorrigible."

"I don't see why we all have to be locked up after all it was Kim who punched the cop." Bonnie groused.

"I didn't know it was a policeman he grabbed me from behind." Kim protested.

Ron looked up, "Yea you really gave him a shot Kid. Dropped him like a sack of potatoes."

Kim covered up her face with both hands and shook her head, _"I am so dead."_

"Do you feel better now Ronnie?"

He took her hand in his, "Yea, thanks Doll...I don't ordinarily lose control like that. I'm glad you were there for me."

Tara's eyes lit up, "So was I."

Ron grinned, "Really...I never had anyone special in my life before...You know being born on the wrong side of the tracks and all..."

"You were born in Middleton Ron." Kim reminded him.

Tara turned around, "SHHHHH"

He didn't let Kim's interruption interfere with his story, "I'm the kind of guy that is always at the end of the line when luck was passed out...but with the right girl at my side...I think I could change all that."

Kim groaned audibly from the other side of the room, "Please"

Tara's blue eyes were wide as she drank in all that Ronnie Diamond was telling her, "Really!"

"Awwww yea, I could stand up tall and say 'I ain't gonna take this no more'...I could revolt." He told her firmly before softening his tone. "Gee I hope all this talk of revolt doesn't put you off of me?"

She shook her head, "On no I like revolting boys."

Ron tilted his head to the side not quite believing what he had just heard, "What?"

The door to the locked room suddenly opened, "Diamond, it's your lucky day. Some big time lawyer just showed up and now all charges against you have been dropped."

"LEO" Ron exclaimed happily.

Bonnie Rockwaller stood up quickly, "Wait...what about me? Don't you know who my father is?"

Ron walked over to where his Mad Dog mask was and winked at Kim, "Don't worry Kid. I'll put in a good word for ya."

"Thanks" Kim said without the slightest trace of excitement.

He slipped the Mad Dog mask over his head, "See you guys in the funny pages." He said as he followed the guard out the door.

"_MY FATHER IS GOING TO HAVE ALL OF YOUR JOBS!"_ Bonnie screamed from the other side of the door.

Bonnie turned away from the door and glared at Kim, "What were you thinking letting that maniac be a mascot?"

Kim threw up her hands, "Oh like I knew he was going to start a riot!"

"I think Ronnie's swell." Tara said as she clutched her hands over her heart.

Bonnie popped her friend in the back of the head, "You would."

"So Leo the Lawyer got me out huh?" Ron asked the guard.

"Follow me" He told the teenager wearing the Mad Dog mask. They walked down a long hallway till they reached a locked fenced in room, "Give Mr. Diamond back his personal belongings."

The bored guard brought forth a box with 'Diamond' written on it in black magic marker, "One London Fog rain coat, one suit coat, blue in color, one box of toothpicks, one set of keys, one envelope containing $2,000, one wallet, brown in color, one comb, black in color, two shoe laces, black in color, one sock full of quarters, one necktie blue and silver in color."

Ron took the box from the guard and then looked at the open box of toothpicks, "Hey there's one missing."

The guard smiled and put a toothpick in his mouth. The boy inside the Mad Dog mask shook his head, "Yea, I bet you need it to pick sprinkles from your teeth when you're done eating all those donuts."

The guard sat up quickly but it was too late Ronnie Diamond had left the window and was now making his way towards the men's room. He walked in and sat on a stool and took off his shoes and began to lace them up, _"The nerve of them thinking I was going to hang myself."_

With his shoes back on Ron walked to the sink and took off the Mad Dog head and put his necktie back on, _"Might hang that guy in the skunk suit but never myself."_

He quickly combed his hair back and patted it down, _"Your looking a little rough around the edges there Diamond. Look's like your going to have to quit burning your candles at both ends."_

The trench coat was next to go on and then he replaced his belongings in his pockets. He put the Mad Dog mask back on a pointed at himself in the mirror, _"You are one good looking dog...er...man."_

Ronnie Diamond left the box behind as he exited the men's room and headed for the exit. Once out side a big man stepped in his path, "You Ronnie Diamond?"

The kid in the large Mad Dog head looked up at the man questioning him and took a toothpick from his pocket and pointed towards him, "Who wants to know?"

"Big Daddy Brotherson would like to have a word with you."

The kid in the giant dog mask tilted his head to the side and then nodded, "Great, let's go."

The large man escorted him to a waiting limousine and opened the door for him. Ron slid inside next to Big Daddy Brotherson who had not yet turned to see who was seated next to him.

"Ah, Mr. Diamond...Eeeeeeeeeck." The big man exclaimed suddenly as he turned and came face to face with a giant Paper Mache' dogs head.

"Sorry about the Mad Dog mask. I just don't feel right without something on top of my head and my hats back at school." Ron said from behind the mask.

Big Daddy Botherson smirked, "Please remove the head. I have a hard time discussing business while staring at a...Mad Dog."

Ron tilted his head and then understood what the man was wanting, "Oh sure." He said quickly as he took the head off and placed it in his lap with the eyes still fixed on Big Daddy.

"I have a business proposition for you Mr. Diamond."

Ron turned to look at the Mad Dog head and he turned the Mad Dog head so that it faced him before turning his and the Mad Dog head's attention back to Big Daddy Brotherson, "We're listening...er...I mean I'm listening."

Big Daddy Brotherson growled as he reached over and turned the dog's head so it faced in the opposite direction, "There now we can talk alone...I mean." He stopped himself in order to collect his thoughts, "Would you care for a drink Mr. Diamond."

Ron's eyes lit up, "Boy I sure would."

"You strike me as a scotch drinker...How do you take it?"

"Normally I take it by the pint but since this is a business conversation. I'll take mine neat."

Big Daddy Brotherson grinned, "Fine, fine, I'll have mine the same." The man began to fix them two glasses of Cutty Sark with ice from the built in bar in the back of the limo.

"You know you impressed me the other night at the club with the way you handled yourself with poise and class under what could have been best described as less than ideal circumstances."

Ron took the drink from him, "You're too kind."

"And you are headed for a one way ticket to destruction without a powerful ally to protect your interests...Would you like me to explain further?"

"Not only would I like to hear you further but I believe the dog mask would like you to continue too."

"You have a singular wit about you Mr. Diamond...Very well, you are dabbling in things that are bigger than you realize. Yanking on the coat tails of a Drakken and Shego may end up giving you a permanent case of being dead."

"I'm all ears."

Big Daddy Brotherson looked at the large ears that protruded from the side of Ron's head, "Yes...I can see that. In order for to remain healthy, you need a benefactor such as me to keep you informed of movements of such individuals. For if they are on the move against you and you are unaware...I'm afraid the results could be most tragic."

Ron took a drink and twisted his face up as the boiling liquid raced down his throat, "Ughh...and what do I have to do for such...information?"

Now Big Daddy Brotherson leaned back in his seat and took a drink of his scotch, "I have a need for a club manager. I will be leaving for the Caribbean soon to start up a new club in a much more gambling friendly environment and in my absence you will be in charge of the Club Americana...I will of course pay you a handsome salary."

Ron held up his glass, "...and I of course am willing to be paid a handsome salary."

"So we have reached an understanding then?" Big Daddy Brotherson asked.

"I believe we have but I'm still not sure of how this is supposed to protect me from those...elements you mentioned earlier?"

Big Daddy Brotherson chuckled, "Why Mr. Diamond you will have your finger on the pulse of every two bit gangster and megalomaniac mad scientist in North America. Nothing happens around here that doesn't make its way through the Club Americana first."

Ron downed the rest of the scotch and forced himself not to make any faces, "Big Daddy Brotherson you have just hired yourself a club manager."

The fat man in the white suit grinned, "Fine, fine, come by the club this evening and we will begin your training...Oh and leave the mask at home please."

He chuckled and nodded, "Sounds swell."

"Now is there anywhere we can drop you?" Big Daddy Brotherson asked.

"Yea, Middleton High School...I sort of need to pick up my wheels...and take the dog for a walk around the trees if you get my meaning."

* * *

The next morning came all too soon for Kim Possible. She staggered out to Ron's car for the short trip to school. Ron looked her over, "Geezzzzzzz Kid you look terrible. What time did you get home?" 

It took a bit of processing for Kim to grasp what Ron was asking before she could answer, "What do you mean I smell nice most of the time?"

"What?"

"Last night when we were in lockup you said I smelled nice most of the time." Kim explained.

Ron blinked, "Oh…uh…well you do most of the time…except for last night…I mean Kid you stunk…You was bringing tears to my eyes."

Kim chuckled and closed her eyes, "That was the pepper spray the police used. It was on my clothes…They missed just before the policeman with the tazer got me."

"Oh…So what time did you get to bed?" Ron asked a little worried by her appearance.

"Oh…by the time they finished processing the paper work around 5AM."

They pulled up at school and were met at the door by Mr. Barkin, "Possible, Stoppable emergency meeting in the auditorium."

Ron began to walk past the angry looking teacher before Kim took him by the arm and pulled him towards the auditorium. Ron looked more than a little offended, "Hey what gives…They want Stoppable not me."

"Humor him."

They walked in took a seat with the rest of the cheer squad in the auditorium. Ron leaned over and whispered into Kim's ear, "I need you to get my hat out of the locker room."

"Later"

Mr. Barkin and several other official looking types were on stage of the auditorium. The center piece of the meeting was a large screen. Mr. Barkin stepped to the front of the stage, "What are you people's major malfunction? Fighting with another teams cheer squad, getting arrested, and embarrassing yourselves and your school in the national media."

Bonnie Rockwaller's hand shot up, "It wasn't our fault it was all Possible and freak boy over there."

"…and it had nothing to do with you being pulled off the captain of the Lowerton Lemurs cheer squad with two fists full of hair?" Barkin asked.

"Those were hair extensions not real hair." Bonnie said defensively.

Barkin rolled his eyes and shook his head, "We have launched our own investigation into the whole affair. We are going to get to the bottom of this. Now we shall watch the video that was shot from last night's altercation as well as the other video that we have found on the internet."

The lights lowered in the auditorium and the video began playing on the screen. Ron smiled as he saw himself kneeing the mascot in the stomach. Then he began cheering as he saw Kim punch Josh Mankey in the mouth, "Good punch there Kid."

Kim woke up and looked at the screen, "Oh…yea he had it coming." She said quietly.

"Turn it off, turn it off…I think we can see who started the whole thing." Barkin said as he stepped in front of the screen.

"Stoppable, what were you thinking last night?"

Ron looked around and pointed to himself.

"YES, YOU"

He stood up and put his hand in his pocket and took out a toothpick, "First off Mr. Barkin…The name is Diamond, Ronnie Diamond and for your information I have been cleared by the authorities of any wrong doing in the whole incident with all charges being dismissed."

Barkin scratched his chin, "I heard, I still haven't figured out how you managed to pull that one off."

Ron began to sit back down.

"Not just yet Stoppable or a…Diamond…Perhaps you can identify this individual."

The lights dimmed again and a video of a man in a trench coat wearing a Mad Dog head appeared getting out of a limousine and walking towards a statue. Then the man unzipped his pants and began to urinate on the statue. There were a few gasps from the other cheerleaders in the room.

Kim closed her eyes, _"Ron, Ron, Ron"_

After he was finished he zipped up his pants and walked over towards an old car got in the driver's seat and drove away. The lights came back up, "Any idea who the culprit who urinated on the statue of the great Clarence K. Middleton proud founder of our great city as well as our high school is?"

Ron stood in stunned disbelief, "You guys make movies in the parking lot?"

"Just answer the question."

He looked around nervously, "Where else do you guys make movies?"

"Just answer the question."

Ron shuffled his feet, "You got me…That was me with the statue."

"So was that you in the gymnasium as well?" Barkin asked.

Rufus quickly popped out of Ron's pocket, "No comment"

"Uhhh…Under advice of my counsel I plead the fifth." Ron said nervously.

"Detention for a month." Barkin said.

Ron sat back down quickly and leaned over to Kim, "You think I can get copies of that movie of me by the statue?"

"All of you will have to interview with the school psychologist if you do not you will be suspended from school for an indefinite amount of time." Barkin informed the crowd.

Kim leaned over towards Ron, "Why on earth would you want a copy of that?"

Ron winked at his red headed friend, "Because it makes me look like I'm holding a salami."

Kim groaned and buried her head in her hands, _"This is going to be a very long day."_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, been a busy week at work. Many thanks to Zaratan, Zeerak, Dantecell, Akinyi, MrDrP, Cajinbear73, Joe Stoppinghem, Zardoz101, Yankee Bard, Spectre666, YVJ for their great reviews.**

**I'm going to try and wrap this story up soon as I am feeling the urge to write on Knights of Zion once again. I'm not sure if it's going to be wrapped up in the next chapter or not. **

**It's been a fun story to write. Ronnie Diamond is just a wealth of good plot bunnies running loose in my head...lol**

**Thanks of supporting and keeping up with the story.**

**Bubba**

* * *

"So it's decided then. Eleven votes for removing Ron as mascot and one for keeping him on...Figures you'd vote for keeping him 'K'." Bonnie said her voice oozing with venom.

Kim raised an eyebrow, "Don't look at me 'B' I voted for removal."

"Really?" Bonnie was astonished as she looked at the other girls, "Well then I wonder who..."

"I voted to keep him because Ronnie's sweet." Tara said happily.

Bonnie rolled her eyes, "I should have known. OK, so who's going to tell him?" She asked as she looked directly at Kim.

"Oh no you're the captain remember? I didn't sell a eighteen wheeler full of candy bars." Kim reminded her.

"Fine, I'll do it...You really voted to remove him from the cheer squad?" Bonnie asked still amazed that Kim would vote against her friend.

Kim sighed, "Bonnie, he's not...all there...mentally, and I just don't know what he's capable of."

"Well one thing for sure after our night at Juvie Hall and those questions from that quack psychologist...We have to do something." Bonnie said firmly.

Kim nodded her head, turned and left the girls restroom where the impromptu meeting was being held to determine Ron's future on the cheer squad. Now that it was decided her head hurt and the lack of sleep was pulling her down.

She couldn't wait to get to lunch and talk with Monique. Hopefully that would make her feel better. The psychologist's questions had been extremely personal and somewhat embarrassing and she was hoping lunch and Monique would take the sting out of the whole sorted mess.

"Hey Mo'

Monique looked at her friend and grinned, "Girl it looks like you didn't get any sleep at all last night."

Kim shook her head, "No sleep, then we had to talk with this psychiatrist in order to not be suspended...Then we voted Ron off the cheer squad."

"Oh...Does he know yet?" Monique asked sadly.

"No...Bonnie is going to tell him." She said sadly.

"So what did the shrink want to know?"

Kim leaned back in her chair and tried to remember the appointment with Dr. Rosen school psychologist.

"So Ms. Possible, I hear you're quite the self appointed vigilante."

Kim blinked at the accusation, "No...I...I like to help people."

"So by beating people up, you help them?"

"No, it's not like that...I only beat up bad people." Kim said defensively.

"So you only beat up people that you judge to be bad?"

"Huh?"

"Isn't your constant need to fight crime just to cover the pain of a poor home life?" Dr. Rosen asked suddenly switching subjects on her.

"I...I don't have a bad home life."

"Let's see your mother is a brain surgeon and your father works as a rocket scientist. Long hours, they're never home, the pressure of having to measure up to their standards and never quite succeeding in your mind. Isn't that the real reason you fight crime?" Dr. Rosen asked as she began making notes in her small notepad.

"My parents aren't always gone and I have a great home life." Kim said starting to become upset.

Dr. Rosen nodded her head, "Uh, huh...denial...Let's move on shall we. What is your favorite part of your body?"

"What?" Kim said suddenly confused.

"It's a very easy question. What do you enjoy looking at most in mirror?"

"Uh...My hair, I guess..."

"Let me guess 100 brush strokes before bed and 100 brush strokes when your getting ready for school in the morning?" Dr. Rosen asked.

"Well I don't know about the exact number of..."

"...So tell me what are you going to do if you come down with a incurable disease and you have to go through painful radiation treatments that causes all that lovely red hair to fall out leaving you BALD...What will you do then?"

"Uh...I...I don't know?" Kim said nervously as she began to unconsciously play with her hair.

"Tell me do you fantasize about sex?"

"NO"

The doctor nodded and scribbled in her note pad, "You are a self obsessed child who thinks only of her hair, you are from a broken home and you are sexually repressed...Send in Ronald Stoppable on your way out. Thank you."

"NO WAY, she said all that?" Monique gasped.

Kim nodded her head, "I swear the woman is a fruit cake."

"You ladies mind if an old gumshoe pulls up a chair?"

"Have a seat Ron...Uh...did Bonnie talk to you yet?" Kim asked nervously.

"Not yet...Don't tell me she's still mad about Tara liking me and all?"

"No...no...I don't think it's that " Kim said nervously.

Monique smiled and leaned over, "So how was your visit to the psychologist?"

Ron grinned, "Well...I think it went well. I believe we made real progress into finding out what's wrong with her."

Kim rolled her eyes, "So what happened with your session."

"Come in Ronald and have a seat."

Ron pointed with his fedora towards the door, "Kim looked pretty shook...You didn't go to hard on her did ya?"

"What went on between me and Ms. Possible is strictly confidential. Just like our little talk will be." Dr. Rosen reassured Ron.

"Sounds fair enough."

"Now Mr. Stoppable tell me about why you feel the need to wear a dog mask?"

Ron leaned forward in his seat, "Well first of all lady, the name isn't Stoppable. It's Diamond, Ronnie Diamond...I'm a private eye."

Dr. Rosen's eyes lit up and she began scribbling in her note book frantically, "That's very interesting Mr. Diamond...So by your accent I'd venture to say you were from New York City?"

"The Bronx...to be precise." Ron answered cheerily.

"Tell me Mr.Stop...Mr. Diamond...Who is the President of the United States?" Dr. Rosen asked gleefully.

Ron chuckled, "Why that's easy...Everyone knows its Franklin Roosevelt."

Dr. Rosen grinned, "What year do you believe it to be?"

"Lady you got a bad memory or somethin' its 1935."

"Mr. Diamond, what would be your response if I told you that the year is actually 2007?"

Ron blinked, "I'd say you was crackers."

Dr. Rosen smiled, "So tell me Mr. Diamond...Do you have any sexual fantasies?"

Ron grinned and began to reel off the most obscene things that he could ever picture a man and woman doing together. Monique and Kim were stunned into silence with their mouths hanging open after he finished.

Finally Monique found her voice, "So...so what happened then?"

He winked at the two girls, "Well...Her eyes got real big and then she offered me a hundred dollars and her wedding ring."

"Ron...uh...I...uh..." Kim stuttered nervously.

"What is it Kid?" Ron said concerned.

"I...I don't think half the things you told that woman are legal to do in this country." Kim told him as she was still reeling from the sexual debauchery that had just come from her friend's mouth.

Ron looked up and grinned, "There's Tara, and I'll see you guys in the funny pages." He said suddenly as he picked up his tray and left.

"So...Kim...Do you think all that was Ronnie Diamond or is a little of that...You know...Ron?" Monique asked nervously.

"I...I don't know...Listen meet me at my house around 7:00 tonight. I got these old Duke DeRosa movies we can watch."

Monique made a face, "Like I want to watch that old stuff."

"Monique, I am so tired of reacting to this guy. I want to be out in front of him so I can get an idea of what he might do next...I don't want anymore riots." Kim said as she rubbed her eyes.

The two friends finished lunch and then left the cafeteria. In the hall on the way back to class Kim spotted Ron in a passionate embrace with whom she believed to be Tara. She walked past the two, glanced quickly and then both she and Monique both stopped to look again.

"BONNIE" Kim gasped.

Bonnie broke off the kiss and pushed Ron away, "I...I was just telling him...uh...he couldn't be...something..."

"On the cheer squad anymore." Ron reminded her.

"Yea...yea that's it..." Bonnie was now fully recovered and suddenly pushed Ron hard, "Get away from me you loser..." Then she stomped off towards the cafeteria.

Ron reached into his pocket and pulled out a fresh toothpick, "She was only trying to make me feel better."

Kim frowned and shook her head, "Well...did she?"

He grinned broadly, "You betcha."

**

* * *

**

"So Dr. Rosen what is the mental status of my troops...er students?" Barkin demanded forcefully.

Dr. Rosen sighed, "Well if I didn't know any better I would say that these people would make a better cast for a cartoon show than having to exist in real life."

Barkin narrowed his gaze, "Don't mince words Doctor...I can take it."

"Well you have a blonde cheerleader that believes in the Easter bunny, thinks the color blue tastes funny and enjoys chasing butterflys."

"I see..." Barkin said as he rubbed his chin.

"Next we have a brown haired girl with so much repressed anger that I believe unless she seeks anger management classes she could have a psychotic episode one day."

"_Got to be Rockwaller."_ Barkin thought to himself.

"Ms. Possible is a problem waiting to happen, bad home life, sexually repressed and totally self absorbed about her hair and looks...Unless she starts counseling soon I expect her to have a complete mental breakdown."

"Funny...I always thought the Possible's were a close family." Barkin mused.

"The boy...now the boy is the dangerous one. Totally delusional, he thinks he is a private eye named Ronnie Diamond and is living in the year 1935."

Barkin nodded, "That would explain his new wardrobe...I just thought he developed taste."

"He however is not repressed sexually. His fantasies about sex are bold, refreshing and revolutionary. and...and...When can I see him again?" Dr. Rosen asked breathlessly.

Barkin narrowed his eyes at the Dr. Rosen, "Down lady...Comport yourself as an adult. Remember Diamond...I mean Stoppable is still a minor."

**

* * *

**

The end of the school day couldn't have come at a better time for Kim Possible. The long night out and lack of sleep had left her totally drained. Monique met her at her locker, "Getting a ride home from Ron today?"

"No...He said he got a job after school now?"

Monique looked shocked, "Really?"

"Yea...Club manager or something...I really need some sleep." Kim said as she let out a loud yawn.

"Come on girl I'll give you a ride home. My cars parked next to that shiny red antique car out there."

Kim giggled, "That's Ron's."

Monique shook her head, "Figures"

They walked outside and into the parking lot. Kim spied the red Plymouth immediately and also noted the steamed over windows and the fact the car was bouncing up and down. She flinched at the thought of Ron enacting his wildest sexual fantasies in the large backseat.

"Girl is it my imagination or is that car doing the lust hustle?" Monique said as she pointed to the bouncing automobile.

Kim frowned, "So who do you think is back there Bonnie or Tara?"

"I was leaning towards the psychologist lady."

"_Again, again, hee, hee, hee" _Came a voice from inside the car.

She gritted her teeth and strode over towards the red car. She put her hand on the door handle and quickly yanked the door open. The sight that greeted her made her gasp. There on the large backseat sat a very happy Tara bouncing up and down and giggling as Ron knelt on the floorboard with a pack of playing cards.

Ron looked at Kim, "Do you mind, your ruining our mood here Kid."

Monique peeked inside, "What are you two doing in there?"

"I'm teaching Tara how to play three card Monty...or find the lady." He said as he held up the queen of hearts and then placed it back on the seat with two other cards and began to mix them up. "All right Doll, find the lady."

Tara turned over the card and gleefully exclaimed, "There she is...I win." Then she grabbed Ron and gave him a deep soul searing kiss.

Kim growled, "Alright what happens if she loses?"

Ron came up for air chuckling, "If she doesn't find the lady...I get to kiss her."

Tara bounced on the seat happily clapping her hands, "I love this game...I can't lose."

"Yea" Ron said as he happily laughed and began to shuffle the three cards again.

Kim slammed the door shut, "Take me home Monique. I'm too tired to kill him here."

Once they were inside Monique's car. Monique grinned at her, "Looks like you're a little jealous of Ron's new popularity with the ladies."

Kim chuckled, "So not! That's not Ron in the backseat of that car...It's...I don't know."

"You're Jeallin'" Monique said playfully. There was no response from Kim, "Kim...Kim...Oh Kimmie...I'll be she's asleep."

**

* * *

**

"You're late Mr. Diamond."

Ron took off his coat and hat and handed it to the coat check girl, "Sorry Big Daddy, I kind of got caught between a blonde and a hard place."

The fat man was unimpressed, "See that it never happens again."

"You got it boss."

Big Daddy Brotherson then took Ron on a tour of the club. He showed him everything that he would need to know including where to order the best bootleg liquor and tax free cigarettes from.

The most important information he was to impart to him though was the subtle art of information collection. The ability to listen more and talk less, something that Ronnie Diamond was in serious need of.

"So you see Mr. Diamond there are times when it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt." Big Daddy Brotherson finished.

Ron scratched his chin, "I see what you're sayin' now...I get it."

Big Daddy Brotherson received a note from the doorman, "It seems you have a visitor...A lady in green."

"I was expectin' her." Ron said as he took the note from his boss.

Ron walked out into the lobby and was greeted by the sight of Shego wearing a much more revealing dress than she wore the night before. Ron raised an eyebrow as he walked around the green lady, "The dress is very complimentary...I especially like the way it shows off your natural..." Ron looked behind her once again, "...assets."

"I thought you would like it. Does it give you any...ideas?" Shego purred.

He smiled and let out a wolf's whistle, "Oh yea baby."

"Like giving little ol' me the box?" Shego whispered softly into Ron's ear just before nibbling his earlobe.

"Not that many ideas, sister." Ron said firmly all traces of lust and temptation lost from his voice.

Shego straightened up and sighed, "Well it was worth a try. Doc Drakken says he's ready to deal."

"Now that is the proverbial music to my ears." Ron said with a grin.

"What do you want kid?" Shego asked more directly.

Ron waived towards the door with his toothpick, "I want to talk to the Doc directly, no go betweens."

Shego rolled her eyes, "Fine, I'll go get him." She said impatiently as she turned to leave.

"WAIT"

"What?" Shego asked more than a little annoyed.

"No kiss?" Ron asked

Shego fired up her hands and let out a growl. Ron grinned and shook a finger at her, "No, no, no..."

The green light from Shego's hands evaporated, "Yea, yea, yea, I remember...I need you and...you need you."

"Exactly"

Shego turned and walked out the door, _"Kid I'm just waitin' for the day when I don't need you."_

**

* * *

**

Kim opened the door for Monique, "Hi Mo, come on in."

Monique smiled and pulled out a tin of flavored popcorn, "I bought the snacks."

Kim nodded appreciatively and the two walked upstairs to her room. She held up three DVD's and showed them to Monique, "Which one you want to watch first?"

"Uh...Ivory Pigeon?"

"Works for me." Kim said unemotionally as she inserted the disc into the player.

The two made small talk as the credits began and then began to giggle as Duke DeRosa came on the screen, "Does that guy not look familiar to you?" Monique giggled as she pointed at the screen.

Kim shook her head and chuckled, "Oh my God, Ron holds his toothpick the same way as he holds his cigarette."

The girls grew quiet as a well dressed beautiful lady entered Duke's office.

"_Mr. DeRosa, I'm Candice Barr and I need your help."_

"_Ah...Candy Barr, what can I do for a sweet dish like you?"_

Kim shook her head, "He did not just say that?"

Monique nodded, "Oh yea"

"_I...I think my husband wants me dead."_

Kim shrugged, "There's a no brainer..."

Monique nodded, "Yea kill him first."

"_So what makes you think he wants you dead?"_

"_You heard about the robbery at the museum last night?"_

"_The papers said nothin' was stolen."_

"_They were wrong. A rare Ivory Pigeon was stolen that's worth thousands...It was my husband who stole it."_

"_Holy Cats they didn't say anything about that in the papers."_

Monique rolled her head over towards Kim, "You're telling me Ron Stoppable really likes this stuff?"

"_He had the Ivory Pigeon, then he lost it and now he thinks I took it from him."_

Kim winched, "I guess...Oh this is so simple, she stole the white bird and is going to try to pin the theft on DeRosa."

The beautiful woman leaned in close to Duke, _"I'm not a bad girl Mr. DeRosa...It's...its just that I have a bad husband."_

Monique blinked, "Uh...I was gonna say that."

Duke grinned at the attractive woman coming on to him, _"I usually get $25 a day plus expenses...or we could work some other arrangement out." _He explained as he leered at the very attractive Candice Barr.

The woman brought out her large purse and pulled out her pocketbook and handed Duke some money, _"There that should buy your services for the week. Please find the Ivory Pigeon before my husband."_

The mysterious woman left Duke's office. Duke raised an eyebrow as he watched her leave. Then he admired the fist full of cash in his hands before calling out for his secretary, "_Irene come in here."_

A ditzy blonde walked into the office with a nail file in one hand and a steno pad and pen in the other. She wore a plain dark colored dress, high heels and she had the most annoying habbit of popping her chewing gum, _"Whattaya want Mr. DeRosa? You want I should take a letter?"_

"_Naw Kid, here's five bucks go get ya something nice and here another ten to payoff my bar tab at Clancey's."_

"_Gee Mr. DeRosa did you get rich all of a sudden?"_

"_Better than that Kid, I gotta case."_

"_Gee Mr. DeRosa you're so smart and handsome..."_

"_How many times I tell ya Kid? I can't be fraternizing with the help."_

"_Awwwwwww What's a girl gotta do..."_

Monique began laughing and pounding Kim's bed, "Ron thinks that's you? Ohhhhh this is way too much..."

Kim frowned, "He better not be thinking I'm like that or...or...well he just shouldn't."

"Oh this is too good...Oh man this is funny stuff."

I wonder..." Kim put a finger to the side of her cheek and opened her eyes wide, "I dunno Mr. Diamond what do you think?" She said in a squeaky high pitched voice complete with a Bronx accent.

Monique roared with laughter, "Oh, oh I dare you to do that at school tomorrow...I dare you."

Kim grinned, "You think maybe I could lure him away from Bonnie and Tara...Not that would be my intentions of course."

"Oh...You are jeallin'."

"I am not, now watch the movie." Kim said as she pointed towards the screen.

The blonde secretary left the office as Duke sat down at his desk and picked up his phone, _"Operator get me Manhatton 8549...Yea, I'll wait."_

"_Hey Eddie, my horse has came in. I'll meet you at The Galaxy over in Harlem at seven and the drinks are on me."_

"You are so jeallin'." Monique whispered.

Kim frowned, "I am not...it...it would just be nice to be noticed that's all...I mean what's Bonnie got that I haven't got?"

"Ronnie Diamond"

"Shhhhh, watch the movie." Kim said angrily.

A mysterious man holding a gun now appeared in Duke's office, _"What did she tell you?"_ The man asked menacingly.

"_Who?"_

"_My wife, she just left her not more than ten minutes ago."_

"_You're crackers mister, ain't nobody been here today?"_

"_She has the white bird and I'm not afraid to shoot you to find out what she knows."_

Duke picked up his hat and began to work the brim around in his hands nervously, _"I...I don't know what your talking about Mac...I..."_ With a surprisingly fast toss Duke DeRosa flung his that into the man's face.

The gun went off but missed hitting the detective but Duke's punch was true and sent the man to the ground. Duke quickly picked up the gun and turned it on the man, _"I knew you were a two bit chiseller the moment you walked into my office. Now talk, I want to know everything you know about the white bird."_

"So still think the woman has the bird?"

Kim shook her head, "I'm not sure now...Yea...I think she stole it."

The next scene was of Duke searching the man at gun point and pulling out his money clip, _"This should about cover the damages to my floor. Now get outta here."_

"_Don't think you've seen the last of me Mr. DeRosa."_

Duke held the clip full of money in the air, _"Looks like this is my lucky day."_

The next scene was the Duke and his friend Eddy meeting outside the club in Harlem, _"I hear this is a swell joint."_

"Yea they say the music is really happenin'..."

The two men entered the club right in the middle of a show stopping song and dance number featuring African American couples in tribal head dresses complete with fake bones in their hair.

Kim squirmed uncomfortably but said nothing. Monique had a look of disbelief on her face.

"_Wow Eddie, those Sambo's sure do know how to cut a rug."_

Monique frowned, "I don't really like these movies that much."

Kim nodded in agreement, "Yea"

"You...you don't think...Ron really likes all this racist stuff do you?" Monique asked almost embarrassed to think that her friend could think the same way as the man in the movie.

Kim shook her head, "Truthfully...I think this kind of stuff just goes right over Ron's head."

Monique nodded, "Yea..."

**

* * *

**

"So this is the place to find...what's his name?" Drakken asked impatiently.

"Uh huh, just go knock on the door and answer the password." Shego said as she pointed towards the large steel door of the club.

Drakken turned and strode purposely towards the door.

Shego held up a hand, "Wait you need the password."

He turned to face her, "Passwords...I don't need no stinkin' passwords." Then he turned and continued walking to the door. Upon reaching the door he didn't knock but just walked right in.

Ronnie Diamond met him on the other side, "Password?"

"I don't need no stinkin' password."

Ron nodded and then snapped his fingers, "Jake, Elwood"

The two large men grabbed Drakken by each arm and hurled him back towards his hover car where he landed with a thud. Shego never even bothered to look up from filing her nails, "Need a password Sport?"

Drakken growled, "Yes"

Armed with the new password Drakken approached the door and knocked. A small panel in the center of the door opened, "Password?"

"Dufus" Drakken said quietly.

"What was that I couldn't hear you?" The voice from the other side of the door told him.

"DUFUS" Drakken screamed out only to hear soft chuckling from the other side of the door.

Suddenly the door opened, "You are correct Dr. Drakken, now you may enter my establishment." Ron said coolly.

Drakken stomped inside, "I want the box."

"And I want you to have the box."

"You do?" Drakken said cautiously.

"Yes, but first you have to find the lady." Ron said as he laid out three cards.

Drakken wiped his face as a raging fury overtook him, "I don't have time for stupid games."

Ron looked up and blinked, "That's too bad Doc." He snapped his fingers, "Jake, Elwood"

Once again the two big men picked up Drakken and hurled him towards his hover car. Shego continued to file her nails, "He's 16 years old. He likes to play stupid games."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay in getting this chapter out. Too many real life activities going on not to mention conflicting plot bunnies from three different stories So many thanks to those that have reviewed the story and once again sorry for the delay.**

**Bubba**

* * *

Kim looked herself over in the mirror. She had not worn the bright yellow dress since Easter and she knew Ron or Ronnie Diamond hadn't seen it yet. She put the big yellow bonnet on her head and smirked, _"I feel like a fool."_

"_Honey Ronnie Diamond is here to pick you up for school."_

She frowned at the mirror and then quickly fixed the beret in her hair, she had curled the ends earlier trying to effect a 1940's hairstyle. She quickly put the large wide brimmed yellow hat on her head and looked herself over again, _"Hat yes...elbow high gloves? I guess its overkill but..."_

Kim slipped on a pair of pumps and walked downstairs, "Don't laugh."

Mrs. Dr. P. looked her over and smiled, "Over doing it just a little?"

She put a finger to her cheek, then presented her mother with a blank expression and in a high pitched squeaky Bronx accent replied, "Gee Ma I don't know what ya mean."

Her mother rolled her eyes, "Try not to tear up the dress."

"OK Ma...I mean mom." She said as she opened the door.

Ron had his back turned to the door looking out at Bessie in the driveway. He turned at the sound of the door opening and then his eyes about burst from their sockets. Ron let out a wolf's whistle, "Hubba, hubba, so the Kid does have fashion sense after all."

"Hi ya Ronnie." Kim said in her squeaky voice.

"You look...wow...If you weren't my secretary..." Ron broke off the thought as he circled Kim one more time to admire the dress. He reached out a hand to touch the dress.

Kim slapped the hand away, "No touching the merchandise."

Ron grinned, "You got it Kid." He said as he hurried down the steps to Bessie and opened the passenger side door for her.

She slid into the seat, _"This is just too weird."_

"So what do you think of my hat?"

"It's a little screwy lookin' but you make it look nice."

Kim smirked, "Screwy lookin?"

Ron nodded and put his hands up towards the brim of the hat, "May I?"

"Yea, OK"

He picked the hat off the top of her head and turned it around and sat it back down again, "Tag goes in the back, Kid."

"_Ugh...I should have known that."_ She mentally kicked herself for the mistake.

Ron backed out of the driveway, "I met with Drakken at work last night. We're going to meet him after school in Middleton Park."

Kim quickly covered her mouth with her gloved hand, "Oh Ronnie why are we going to meet them at the park?"

He blinked at her as they turned into the school parking lot, "Don't you worry your little head about it. I gotta plan."

"Shouldn't you be lettin' a girl know what the plan is?" Kim said now sounding just a bit irritated.

"No time Kid, we're at school." He told her as he pulled into a parking space.

He quickly got out of the car with Kim right on his heels, "So when are you going to tell me about the plan?"

"Bonnie, you are definitely the cat's meow in that dress." Ron said appreciatively as he took his hat off and wiped his brow.

Kim stared flabbergasted at Bonnie's new 1930's attire. She shook her head and smirked, "Raiding our grandma's wardrobe much?"

Bonnie glared at Kim and then turned her attention back to Ron, "You must help me Mr. Diamond...I...I think my boyfriend has been cheating on me."

"Sorry Sister, but Ronnie don't talk no business outside his office." Kim said in her best Bronx accent.

"Nonsense Kid, I always got time to help a client. Let's talk about this in the backseat of my car." Ron said motioning towards his car that he affectionately called Bessie.

"Oh no you don't Bonnie Rockwaller."

Kim turned around just in time to see Tara walking out of the school in a white evening gown with a mink stole. Kim shook her head as she realized the Tara had gone the whole nine yards and styled her hair so that it was wavy she was sporting a wide brimmed, high crown white hat that sat on her head at an angle. The sight rendered Kim speechless.

The sight however did not render Ron speechless, "Hubba, hubba, get a load of this..." he said to Kim as he motioned towards Tara.

"Don't go into the backseat with her Ronnie. Bonnie's between boyfriends now." Tara said breathlessly.

"Tara mind your own business." Bonnie glared at her new blonde rival.

Tara clutched her hands together over her heart, "Ronnie, I need to talk to you desperately in your backseat."

"What's wrong Kitten?" Ron asked worriedly.

"I need to talk to you about a feeling that I have here." Tara reached and grabbed Ron's hand and placed it on her chest, "Here, deep inside."

This brought Kim out of her temporary stupor and yanked Ron away from her, "Look Sister, ain't no one goin' into no backseats till after school...Got it." She then emphasized her point with her fist.

Now the rest of the cheer squad appeared from the school all calling out for Ron. They too were all clad in 1930's clothing which left Ron totally dazzled. Ron turned and winked at Kim, "Looks like this is Ronnie Diamond's lucky day."

"Oh 'K' we voted Ron back on the cheer squad...and you off it." Bonnie said with an evil gleam in her eye as she took Ron's arm and Tara took the other and escorted him inside the school.

Kim frowned and shook her head, "Of all things to have happen. I'm totally mortified by the whole sitch."

She shook her head and followed the group of girls clad in 1930's attire into the building, _"This is so not happening."_

The girls raced to see who could be the first to line up next to Ron's locker. Meanwhile inside a certain janitorial closet another person wanted to see Ronnie Diamond but on a completely different matter.

Ron walked past the closet door which opened quickly and then a hand reached out and yanked Ron back into the closet by his collar. Ron looked around startled, "What? Hey...Monique?"

Monique glared at him and then poked him in the chest, "Let's get one thing straight Ronnie Diamond. I am not a darkie, I am not a colored, I am not a sambo, I am a human being and if you ever refer to me as one I will pound you senseless...Got it?"

Ron's eyes grew large and round as he nodded, "Yea, yea, sure Kid...I get your drift."

"Another thing, if you ever call me Mammy...So help me God I will cut you." Monique said threateningly.

"Yea, yea...I gotcha..." Ron replied nervously.

Monique nodded her head, "Now to see what all the white girls are going on about." She said huskily as she pulled Ron in and gave him a deep kiss.

After a few moments she pushed him away and then shoved him back out the door, _"I don't get it? It must be a white girl thing?"_

Ron reappeared in the hallway dazed and confused. Kim turned and spotted him, "Come on we're wanted in Mr. Barkin's office."

"What? I didn't do nothin'." Ron said defensively.

Kim shook her head, "I think it's to do with the other night."

He nodded and followed her down the hallway. Kim stopped outside the office door and turned to Ron just before knocking, "Maybe you should let me do the talking?" She said nervously.

Ron took a tooth pick out of his pocket and tapped his other pocket to wake up his counsel, "We're being interrogated, wake up."

Rufus popped his head out of his pocket and looked around, "OK, OK"

Kim softly knocked on the door. A rousing voice from the other side answered through the door.

"COME IN"

She turned the knob and walked in followed by Ron. Kim gasped and put a hand over her mouth. There stood Officer Hobble wearing a neck brace and wire contraption across his mouth.

"Sit down you two." Barkin ordered.

The two teens sat down and Barkin began to talk, "We are all familiar with the ugly situation that arose at the basketball game the other night..."

Both Ron and Kim nodded.

"We have been negotiating with various groups to solve some very delicate issues that remain from the other night. For starters Officer Hobble has very generously agreed to drop all charges of assault against you Ms. Possible and not to sue the school district if only you would apologize to him for punching him the other night."

Kim swallowed hard and nodded, "Officer Hobble I'm really sorry I hit you. If I'd known it was you I wouldn't have put up a struggle."

Officer Hobble tried to smile and then winced, "That's OK Kim. I know your one of the good guys. Just hearing you say your sorry makes all the hours of oral surgery to rebuild my jaw worth it."

Kim made a pained face and pulled in her head, "I'm sorry."

"Works for me Kim." Hobble said as he waved at Barkin and walked out the door.

Barkin now turned his attention back to Ron, "Now for you...The Lowerton Lemurs refuse to play the second half of the basketball game unless they receive a letter from you apologizing for striking the girl inside the Lemur suit...It appears she had self esteame issues because of her weight and the school was trying to get her to come out of her shell by letting her be the mascot. It appeared to be working until you came along and ruined it all."

"Holy cats, I never..." He was interrupted by his counsel clearing his throat and shaking his head."

"Uh huh"

He lifted his eyebrows and nodded, "Right, thanks Rufus...I mean to say that if I was the one that actually was there that night..."

Barkin rolled his eyes, "Look just write the apology letter so we can get this game played...You have a half an hour before I return." With that being said Mr. Barkin stood and walked out of his office.

Ron shook his head sadly and then looked towards Kim, "Take a letter Kid."

Kim frowned, "Take it yourself Ronnie..."

"Ah Kid..."

"Don't ah Kid me. You made this mess you fix it." She said firmly.

He started to protest and then held up a hand, "Your right Kid."

Ron took his notebook out and started to scribble a letter of apology out. Kim tried to look over at what he was writing and shook her head, _"His hand writing is tough enough to read when I'm not looking at it upside down."_

He finished the letter and began to read it out loud, "How do you think this sounds Kid?"

"_Dear People of Lowerton High School_

_It has come to my attention that the person inside the skunk suit was not a guy but in fact an ugly fat broad. _

_This fact grieves me to no end. _

_Had I known that there was an ugly fat broad inside the skunk suit I would a never have taken a poke at her._

_So let's let bygones be bygones and not worry about which fella in an animal suit punched who first. _

_I harbor no ill will towards your fine school or the skunk that you have chosen to proudly represent it._

_Yours truly,_

_Ronald Diamond, esq."_

Kim rolled her eyes, "Esquire?"

Ron smiled, "Yea, gives the whole thing a touch of class don't you think?"

"Maybe I should just write the letter for you?" Kim suggested sadly.

"Gee Kid that would be great...You're a swell secretary..."

"Friend Ron, friend." She reminded him.

"Oh...oh yea, right Kid. You're a swell pal."

**

* * *

**

Kim sat down heavily at the round table and gloomed at Monique. The day had not gone quite as she planned it. She crossed her arms and glared across the cafeteria at Ron surrounded by the cheer squad all of whom were dressed in period fashion. She shook her head in disgust as she realized they were all playing three card Monte, "Look at them...Disgusting." She said to Monique bitterly.

Monique turned in her seat to look at the show, "Uh huh...So you're not jeallin' then?"

She shook her head, "Sheep, crushing sheep...I just don't get it?"

Monique grinned, "So why don't you go over there and take a turn?"

Kim lifted an eyebrow, "HA...You first."

"I already had my turn." Monique grinned impishly.

"WHAT? What do you mean you already had your turn?" Kim's face registering total shock at what she had just heard from her friend.

Monique grinned, "Well...I was curious."

Kim crossed her arms and looked away from her friend. Then she turned back to her and asked in a low voice, "Well...how was it?"

Her friend shrugged, "Well...he did curl my toes...but...I'm not sure if he was worth waiting in a line that big though." She said motioning towards the group that had now grown to at least fifteen.

"_Stoppable what do you think you are doing?"_

Kim sat up straight in chair, "I better go make sure Ron doesn't get into too much trouble."

"Ah Mr. Barkin, I was just showing the ladies the finer points of playing 3 card Monte." Ron replied happily as he shuffled his deck of cards.

Barkin grimaced, "Stoppable gambling on school grounds is against the rules."

Bonnie Rockwaller broke in, "It's hardly gambling considering everyone wins."

Kim stepped into the crowd, "So why were you looking for Ronnie in the first place?"

Barkin smirked and looked at Kim, "Nice squeaky voice there Possible, it gives you the whole 1930's detective movie genre a new sense of relativism..."

"Hey, no body talks to Kim like that." Ron said suddenly springing to his feet.

"Relax Stoppable, I just dropped by to inform you that the Lowerton High School was overwhelmed by the heart felt letter you wrote so they have agreed to finish the game next Tuesday night." Mr. Barkin's face was now sporting something that could almost be called a grin.

The cheer squad began to cheer and jump up and down excitedly before Barkin held up his hand. The grinning man now let the other shoe drop, "Before the start of the second half you and the Lowerton Lemer mascot are going to kiss and make up at mid-court."

Ron's jaw fell open, "You mean I have to kiss the ugly fat girl in the skunk suit? Aw no, anything but that..." He quickly tapped on the pocket of his trench coat, "Rufus, help me out here. Get me a writ of habeas corpus or somethin'."

The pink mole rat appeared out of his pocket sporting a pair of eyeglasses and a rather large legal book. Rufus looked up at his client and shrugged, "I dunno"

"You better not be sending me a bill for this." Ron gloomed.

"I have even more good news for you Stoppable. Miss Dickens your creative writing teacher has given you and 'A' for the project and is going to have the letter you wrote placed in the Middleton High School trophy case for all to read." Mr. Barkin said happily.

"But I wrote that letter..." Kim said before quickly placing both hands over her mouth.

"What was that Possible?" Barkin said suddenly spinning around to face her.

"Uh...uh...What I mean is...Gee...I wish I could have written something like that so I could get me an 'A' too."

Mr. Barkin now left the cafeteria and the cheer squad and members of the basketball team were now crowded around Ron patting him on the back and hugging him. Kim shook her head and turned to Monique, "It isn't fair...It just isn't fair."

The crowd now picked up Ron and began to carry him out of the cafeteria. Ron waved at Kim as he was being carried by, "Hey Kid, do you think you can write me another letter and ask that the fat broad in the skunk suit not wear so much Aqua Velva next Tuesday."

Kim rolled her eyes, "This is sooooooo not fair."

**

* * *

**

After school a very exasperated and exhausted Kim Possible strode out of school to once again be greeted by the sight of Ron's car bouncing back and forth with the windows of the car steamed over. She shook her head, _"If we weren't supposed to meet Drakken and Shego today..."_ She let the thought drop as she once again yanked the back door to the car open.

This time however instead of finding a very happy Tara in the backseat with Ron she was now greeted by the sight of a slightly less happy Tara and a very happy Bonnie Rockwaller who was now in the throws of a passionate kiss from one Ronnie Diamond. Kim gasped and took a step back.

Bonnie broke off the kiss and looked at Kim angrily, "Sorry 'K' no room back her for three. You're just going to have to wait your turn."

Ron turned to face Kim. His lips now covered in lipstick, "Oh I don't know about that if we just..." The angry glare from the two girls silenced him and then he turned to face Kim, "Sorry Kid, just room back here for two now."

Kim frowned and broke into her squeaky voice, "But Ronnie weren't we supposed to meet up with Dr. Drakken and the Green Lady today?"

He frowned, "Oh yea...I sort of forgot."

"I found the lady, I found the lady." Tara squealed happily.

Bonnie crossed her arms, "He's not even shuffled the cards yet."

"I don't care." Tara said as she pulled Ron towards here and began to kiss him deeply.

When Tara finally broke off the kiss to come up for air, Ron quickly cleared his throat to make an announcement.

"Sorry girls, the Kid's right. Business before pleasure." He said as he stepped out from the large backseat.

There were moans of protest from both Bonnie and Tara as they climbed out of the large automobile. Ron took Tara by the hand and kissed it, "You're always welcome in my backseat Doll."

Tara squealed with delight and moved off allowing Ron to help Bonnie out of the backseat. He kissed her hand and winked at her, "You know this Diamond will always sparkle for you Doll."

Bonnie grinned and blushed as she stepped away from the car. Then she laid eyes on Kim once again and turned up her nose, "Humpf" she grunted as she turned and walked away.

Once the two girls had left Kim dug into her purse and pulled out a napkin, "Here wipe that cheap lipstick off your face."

Ron took the napkin, "What?"

Kim pointed at the large round side door mirror, "Oh...The girls were feeling a bit frisky today..." He said absent mindedly.

She blanched at the comment and decided to change the subject, "So...what did you say the plan was going to be again?"

He finished cleaning his mouth of the unwanted lipstick and shrugged his shoulders, "Aw no point in cluttering your mind with such details...Just rest assured Ronnie Diamond has everything under control."

Kim had finally had enough and grabbed Ron by the arm and quickly forced him face first onto the hood of his car while twisting his arm behind him, "I've had enough of this Ron, what's the plan..."

"Ow, ow, ow, come on Kid, I got it all worked out." Ron said grimacing from the pain.

"THEN TELL ME!"

"Alright Kid...alright..."Ron said desperate to get out of Kim's hold.

She let go of his arm and Ron moved it around to make sure he was alright, "That's some grip you got there Kid."

"Spill" She said impatiently.

Ron held up a hand, "OK, OK, It's like this see...We meet up with Drakken and the Green Lady...and then we improvise."

"IMPROVISE!?! You mean to tell me you have no plan at all?" Kim said incredulously.

"Easy Kid, easy...Of course I've got a plan...of sorts...I evens gots me a secret weapon." He grinned mischievously as he produced Rufus.

Rufus held up his paws, "Yea, secret weapon"

He pulled out a large leather satchel and dropped Rufus inside, "You know what to do?"

The naked mole rat nodded his head, "Uh huh"

Kim shook her head, "I don't believe this...This is your big plan..."

Ron turned and winked at Kim, "Come on Kid, with a secret weapon like Rufus, what could possibly go wrong?"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay on the wrap up of this story. I had some health issues to work through. I decided to wrap this story up and leave room for a possible sequel down the road. Many thanks to those of you that have followed the story. Your reviews were a great source of inspiration to finish Ronnie Diamond off in style. **

**I'm still looking for someone to proof read for me. I haven't had much luck with proof readers they either disappear, get lives, have computers that burst into flames...So in other words being a Bubbahotek Proof Reader could be a dangerous task.**

**Read and enjoy. Leave a review and I'll send you a reply.**

**Bubba**

* * *

Ron drove the 1937 Plymouth he affectionately called 'Bessey' towards the center of town and Middleton Park. Kim was still stressing on Ronnie Diamond's apparent lack of a plan. She looked over at him once more, "OK, You keep Drakken busy and I'll take down Shego and then we hold them for the police."

"Nah, no good Kid, I kind of want to avoid contact with our cities finest if you know what I mean."

Kim frowned, "You don't think they're still upset about the riot do you?"

Ron looked over and winked at her, "Kid you did break that guys jaw."

She slumped down in her seat, "Oh yea...Still..."

Kim never had a chance to finish her sentence as Ron pulled into a parking spot. He picked up his leather pouch that contained Rufus and got out of the car. Kim followed suit leaving her hat in the car as they stood in the empty parking lot looking around.

Ronnie Diamond rubbed the back of his neck as he surveyed his surroundings, "What street do you think they're going to come in on?"

"_How about from above!" _

The two teens looked towards the sky as a hover car landed in front of Bessey and landed. Drakken, Killigan and Shego quickly exited the vehicle to stand in front of the pair. Drakken eyed Ron's satchel, "I believe you have something I want?"

Ron held out a hand, "Wait a minute pal, I don't recall the deal including the Scotsman?"

Killigan gritted his teat, "That'll be enough out of you Laddie. If it wasn't for me no one would even know about the ruddy part."

"Well I know about the part and I got it...So you really aren't bringing anything to the table." Ron pointed out.

"Now you wait just a minute." Duff roared.

Drakken tilted his head to the left and lifted an eyebrow, "The kid does have a point. Shego I think it's time we terminated our partnership with Mr. Killigan."

Shego grinned as her hands ignited with a green glow, "I gotcha Dr. D."

Killigan began backing away from the two as he tried to access his bag of clubs. Shego however was having none of it. She sent plasma blast after plasma blast Killigan's way until one came close enough to knock Killigan to the ground unconscious.

Ron winked at Kim, "The Green Lady packs quite a punch."

Kim just rolled her eyes and prepared to join the battle, "Time to wrap these two up." She said quietly.

Shego grinned menacingly as she moved in for the kill only to be knocked off her balance by a flying kick from Kim. Shego whirled around with lashing out with her right fist only to have it easily deflected by Kim.

The next move from Shego was a saddle kick as she was trying to land a blow to Kim's head. Kim did a back flip and as she did her skirt came down over her face exposing her legs and panties.

Ron quietly walked up beside Drakken and elbowed him, "The Kid's got great gams don't she?"

Drakken frowned and growled, "What's your price Diamond."

"Call off the Green Lady."

"Shego, that's enough." Drakken barked.

She stopped immediately and glared at her employer. Kim was in a crouch and was ready to pounce when Ron waived her off, "Take five Kid, not that I don't like to watch a good cat fight but we men have business to discuss."

Kim's eyes went wide and her nostrils flared, "Excuse me..."

"So what's your price for the part Diamond." Drakken began again.

Ron motioned towards Drakken with his toothpick, "I get you this part you're going to take over the world, correct?"

Drakken nodded his head slowly, "That is the general plan of world domination...So what do you want Greenland?"

Shego grinned and lifted an eyebrow. She knew the age old ploy of Dr. Drakken was to offer someone he was doing business with Greenland instead of Iceland. "The kid's a rube if he takes that deal." She thought to herself.

Ron shook his head and walked towards Kim, "No, that's not what I want...You know what I want Dr. Drakken?"

Drakken's shoulders slumped, "For the third time, what do you want?"

He looked over towards Kim and winked at her before turning his attention back towards Drakken, "I'll tell ya what I want. I want a piece of the pie. I'm tired of being pushed down watching others get rich while I have to slave away in a crummy detective agency."

Drakken's twisted his face trying to get his mind around what Ronnie Diamond was asking for, "I don't get it."

Ron rolled his eyes, "Look Doc, all I want is a place in the country to call my own, someplace that I could feel proud to live in." Ron then turned his attention to Kim, "Someplace where me and Kim can settle down and raise a family."

Kim's eyes shot open, "WHAT?"

"I'm sorry to have to spring it on ya Kid, but I'm crazy about you. Always have been...I figure I give them this part and we can have enough money to get a good start...Whataya say Kid?"

She took a step back and looked around in a panic before she saw Ron wink once again. Then she got what she was supposed to do, "Oh...Gee...That...sounds swell Ronnie."

Drakken's face contorted into something resembling a smile and then Shego broke out laughing and then Drakken doubled over laughing, "You, you and Kim Possible married and raising kids...Oh this is too funny."

Shego fell into the hover car laughing, "I can see her now, 9 months pregnant and still trying to mix it up with me."

Ron frowned, "This is my dream your laughin' at."

"Oh yes, well sorry for...I think this is a deal we can make. So hand over the part." Drakken ordered.

"I don't have it here, but I can take you to where it is." Ron said confidently.

Shego was still snickering in the hover car, "Get in...I'll drive you to where you need to go."

Drakken climbed into the waiting hover car as Kim stood behind Ron, "This was your big plan?"

"Shhhhhh Kid, it's a work in progress." Ron whispered.

Once everyone was situated Drakken looked to them in the backseat, "Where's the part?"

Ron motioned with his toothpick towards Shego, "Take us to the Middleton Bus Station."

Shego shrugged, "Sounds interesting."

While the hover car was in flight Ron stashed his leather satchel containing Rufus under the seat and then he put his arm around Kim and pulled her tightly to him, "Just think darling soon all our dreams will come true."

Kim gloomed as she looked up to see Shego's laughing eyes reflected to her in the rear view mirror, "Gee that's swell Ronnie." She said in a voice that lacked any real excitement.

The hover car soon landed outside the Middleton Bus Station and Ronnie Diamond quickly hopped out and walked inside. Drakken, Shego and Kim followed on his heels quickly.

Once inside Ron made a big production number out of trying to decide which locker he had left the box in. He walked up one row and then the other, "Ah yes, here it is locker number 342." He fished in his pocket and brought out a small key with a yellow plastic cap on the end and handed it to Drakken, "Care to do the honors."

Drakken eagerly grabbed the key and inserted it in the lock. He opened the door grabbed the box with the part in it and began doing a happy dance, "It's mine all mine, I'm going to take over the world, I'm going to take over the world."

Ron quickly put his hand on top of the box which brought Drakken to an immediate stand still. Ron leaned forward and spoke very quietly, "I'm told that this is the stuff dreams are made of."

A large grin returned to Drakken's face, "My stuff, my dreams." He yanked the box away from Ron and turned to Shego, "Let's go Shego." He ordered before he took off running for the hover car in the parking lot.

Shego gave an impromptu salute before leaving, "See you losers later." Then she turned and followed her employer.

Kim growled and started to give chase before Ronnie Diamond's hand took her by the arm, "Let em' go Kid."

"What? They're getting away with the part..." Kim protested.

Ronnie Diamond grinned and stuck the toothpick back in his mouth and pointed to the floor where a much winded Rufus stood, "You do what I told ya?"

Rufus continued to pant and gave a thumbs up signal, "All ready."

Kim shook her head, "I don't understand?"

There was a loud crash and the two could hear screaming from outside followed closely by the sounds of police sirens. Ron grinned and pulled down on the brim of his fedora, "Let's go have a look outside shall we?"

Rufus quickly climbed into the pocket of Ron's trench coat and then he and Kim walked outside. Kim looked at the scene of devastation that greeted her eyes. It took a moment to figure out what had happened.

She blinked and turned to Ron, "The entire time we were looking for the right locker Rufus was attaching a cable to the hover car and then over to that light pole." Kim pointed.

Ron nodded, "Yea and then when they tried to make a get away...Well they came back to earth in a hurry didn't they." He said with a wink.

Kim still shook her head in disbelief as she watched Shego crawling around on the ground in a daze. One of the Middleton Police officers walked over towards Drakken, "Hey this is one of the guys wanted in the train robbery."

The other Policeman found the cardboard box lying on the ground, "Here's an accomplice and the missing box from the train."

Dr. Drakken looked up and spied a smiling Ronnie Diamond and a bewildered Kim Possible, "You think you're all that but you aren't Ronnie Diamond. We will meet again I can promise you that."

Another Police man approached Ron, "Do you have any knowledge about this?"

Ron shrugged, "Nope, I never seen either of these people before in my life." Before Kim could have a chance to answer Ronnie Diamond quickly led her away, "Come on Kid let's head for Ned's I'm starved."

Once they were out of sight of the police Kim turned to Ron, "I don't understand, why didn't you just tell the police the truth?"

Ron grinned, "Kid, I manage a club where some very nefarious individuals hang out. It wouldn't be proper for a man in my position to be known for helping the police...It's bad for business."

Kim's eyes lit up with the realization of what Ron was inferring, "Ohhhhhh"

He took off his fedora and shaded his eyes against the setting sun, "Looks like we got a bit of walk ahead of us."

She nodded, "Yea, glad I wore flats."

**

* * *

**

The two walked in silence until they reached Bueno Nacho. Ron smiled and looked at Kim, "I'm glad you picked up on the whole piece of the pie plan...You had me nervous for a minute there Kid."

Kim blushed and chuckled uneasily, "Oh well, phewwwww, you had me plenty nervous there too...I'm glad you were just kidding about the whole...thing."

Ron took Kim gently by the arm and turned her towards him, "I was serious about one thing Kid. I am crazy about you...Always have been. I just never had the guts to tell ya. I figured you'd laugh at an old gumshoe like me."

Kim's eyes grew wide and she tried to find an answer, "R...Ron..."

"You were dating that bum Mankey and it just tore me up inside. Your too good for him Kid. You know what you need?"

She shook her head as her mind raced at a thousand miles an hour about what she should do, "Wha...what?"

Ron pulled her close to him, "You need to be kissed and kissed often, by a boy who knows how." Ron planted a kiss on Kim lips that made her melt into his arms.

Kim's mind went into overdrive, _"This can't be happening, after all he's just a friend...Oh wow he can kiss..."_ She thought eagerly as she pulled him in closer and began to let her tongue dance with his.

After a few more minutes of kissing Ron abruptly pulled away, "Ah who am I foolin', it'll never workout between us."

"Why?" Kim asked desperately.

Ron frowned, "Let's face it. A high class Dame like you and a guy like me. Sure you'd be happy for awhile but then your society friends would start talkin'. Bonnie and Tara and the rest and then you'd regret your decision to see me. Soon that sparkle in your eyes would die and then where would we be?"

Kim was at a loss for words as she tried to take in what Ron was saying, "But...what about us?"

He pointed to the bright neon sign outside Ned's restaurant, "We'll always have Bueno Nacho Kid." Ron fitted his fedora on his head and nodded to Kim, "Here's looking at you Kid." Then he turned on his heels and walked away into the sunset.

Kim's knees shook as she watched him leave, "WOW" She said in a quiet awe.

**

* * *

**

The rest of the evening went by in a daze for Kim. She ran home and tried to call Ron on the phone numerous times but he would never answer the phone. She finally got ready for bed and looked expectantly up the street for any sign of Ron. There was none.

The greatest kiss she had ever experienced in her life was over and now she had a whole new set of problems to work through. She lay on the bed and mulled it over, _"Could Ron and I have a relationship and still remain friends...No wait...That's not really Ron. What happens if Ron's memory returns?"_

That new thought frightened her more than anything. She grabbed Panderoo and held him tight, _"I don't think I could have the same feelings for Ron that I have for Ronnie Diamond."_ She thought sadly to herself as she drifted off to sleep.

Kim awoke the next morning to her mother tapping on the door, "Kim Ron's here to see you."

She sat up in bed, _"Mom said Ron and not Ronnie Diamond...Oh no..."_ Kim struggled out of bed and pulled on a robe and a pair of slippers and walked down the stairs. She opened the door and was totally unprepared for what was there to greet her.

There stood Ron in a black suite, with a black hat, black sunglasses, white socks, black shoes and he was standing in front of what used to be a black and white police car. Kim blinked her eyes and shook her head, "Ron?"

Ron had his hands clasped together in front of him, "Kim, I got a call from the Penguin. They're trying to close the orphanage and we have to get the band back together."

"What?" Kim said again not quite understanding what was going on.

Ron took off his sunglasses and peered into her eyes, "The Band Kim. We have to get the Band back together."

Kim blinked once again. Now she was aware of what was going on. Ronnie Diamond was gone only to be replaced by Ronnie Blues. She grinned as she thought about the Blues Brothers movie.

There were cars that exploded for no reason, cars that wrecked for no reason. Now this was the type of destruction and wholesale craziness that she could get behind. She held up one finger and ran back upstairs, "Dad, I need to borrow a suit...We're on a mission for God!"


End file.
